"I ain't gonna lie, some have got better / Dizzee got worse but he still got cheddar"

Photo by Alex Sturrock

Top 18 things that I heard in 2007 in no particular order (with selected commentary):

1. Trim - Soulfood Vol. 1
2. Apple - Mr Bean
3. DJ NG - Tell Me
Coming out again on Atlantic Records next year
4. Estelle - American Boy (TS7 Remix)
5. Trim - Soulfood Vol. 2
I think I'm the only person who thought this was better than Vol. 1
6. JTJ Productions - It's You
7. Wiley - Apocalypto
Have you heard Wiley's funky house remix of "Night"?
8. El-B - Shorty (Steppa Mix)
9. Mavado - Gangsta For Life
10. Cheeksta - Baby (TS7 Remix)
11. Martyn - Twenty Four
Who would have thought that in 2007 dubstep could still be subtle? Not a cod-Jamaican vocal in sight, too.
12. Burial - Unite
I don't actually dislike Burial
13. Durrty Goodz - Switching Songs Part 2
14. Dizzee Rascal - Dean
This was a B-side on the "Sirens" CD single. Strangely, it's better than pretty much every other track on the album. It's like one of those dreamy, introspective tracks from Boy in Da Corner. I guess it didn't really fit in with the whole "British hip-hop" theme he was going for with this LP. Shame, really.
15. Wookie - Gallium
16. Joker - Gully Brook Lane
Is this ever actually going to come out on vinyl?
17. Wiley - 16 Bar Rally
18. T2 - Why (Mr Virgo Remix)

Top 2 1Xtra DJs who say "The" before every artist name:

1. The DJ Cameo
2. The DJ Footloose

Top 5 people / things / animals Skepta has been photographed with this year:

1. Some Hasidic Jews


2. A camel


3. Trigga


4. Ian from Black Lips


5. The Israeli flag


Top 2 songs of 2007 about penises:

1. Ce'Cile - Prancehall Dub
2. Riskay - Smell Yo Dick

Top 3 screwfaces of 2007:

1. Jammer


2. Jammer


3. Fuda Guy


Top 3 most overrated grime albums of 2007 (in order of overratedness):

1. Skepta - Greatest Hits
2. Dizzee Rascal - Maths & English
3. Wiley - Playtime Is Over

Top 4 slogan T-shirts of 2007:

1. DJ Scholar - I Got It 4 Cheap!


2. Afrikan Boy - I'm Focused, Don't U Get It?


3. Lee Brasco - You Make Me Sick


4. Jammer - Are You Dumb?

We got tings in yachts

Rapid, Fuda Guy and Slix

Last Friday I DJed at a night at Cargo with Ruff Sqwad. I was going to write some stuff about it but this girl I know called Emma said she would do me a little write-up that I could steal. She seemed pretty into what Ruff Sqwad were wearing so she said she'd talk about that. Emma works for the fashion designer Katherine Hamnett, who is kind of responsible for everyone and their dog now wearing those large block letter slogan tees. Here is what she had to say with a few changes and some notes from me in red:

Rapid is really a Yacht Rock guy and only a few steps away from joining Duran Duran on Simon Le Bon's boat. Slix dresses like he kind of is, but his shoes look like an indie boy (?). Fuda Guy... cap is a little bit 8-Ball Lucky Strike with the embroidered dice, but I guess he is big on the stitches with the hat like that, the embroidered Pink Panther on the knee and the ICE-B embroidery on the pocket.


Fuda Guy in the ICE-B jeans

I'm really not into these jeans and even less into his pants. They look really cheap and nasty and in fact, the entire outfit could have been bought at Camden market. At the next Ruff Sqwad gig I have half a mind to present Fuda Guy with a selection of new undies. I am opposed to so much hanging out, for real. Imagine if he does a sloppy fart or something! Fuda Guy could be painted with the Ginuwine brush, for example. Versace undies would be great. I am thinking that maybe Vilebrequin in the Moorea traditional boxer short cut would be great if Fuda Guy really wanted to go round with his bum out. Vilebrequin also do incredible cotton boxers embroidered with strawberries or bees [if a girlfriend buys you these, she is a keeper.] About 2000 times better than Polo. Finally another option could be from Clone Zone on Old Compton Street. I know it is a gayer shop and the pants are for gays but the brand is called XTG - almost like XTC - YGM??!!



Here is Scholar (I had to cut what she said after this in case someone didn't read the intro and got the wrong idea). He wears the coolest sunglasses and he has a beautiful smile (remember people, this is not written by me). A big smile fixes everything (this is true). But sadly he is wearing one of those rotton T-shirts. I don't think much of all the slogan tees rolling around the East End these days. These ones in particular are pretty painful because I am almost certain that they aren't made from organic cotton. Conventional cotton - like the cotton used in these bulk tees that printers supply you cost them 70p each - represents 10 per cent of world agriculture (I thought agriculture was farms, innit) and uses 25 per cent of the world's pesticides. 20,000 people die every year from accidental pesticide poisoning in conventional cotton agriculture. I can also be pretty sure that the inks on those garments are not water based inks and probably contain PVC. (Prancehall.com does not necessarily support the views raised in this paragraph)



Now Scholar is hiding in shame cause his T-shirt is so wrong and Fuda Guy is suffering from all the chemicals and pesticide residue in his T-shirt (haha).



Here is Slix up close. The Wikipedia Handerchief Guide says that a black bandana means the wearer is into heavy S&M pain and wants to whip others (if worn on left); wants to be whipped (if worn on right). Ah so Slix, what you into?!!



And forget about Claire's Accessories, this is Slix's Accessories.



Rapid really wipes the floor with the rest of Ruff Sqwad in the fashion stakes - smart, clean, sexual. Look at Slix's little fat face here - he looks like one of the Fat Boys! (This view is not supported by Prancehall.com)



YACHT ROCK!! WOO HOO!! (We put those boat shoes in the tidbits section in the new Vice Student Guide - he must have got the idea there, innit). So beautiful. Personally I would get the Sperry Top Sider from Zappos OR the Rockport Bridgesport for guys and Sebago Docksides for women.



What is in the bag though? From the bump in the side it could contain a tampon, lip gloss or a battery. Cardinal (Cardinal = Emma's friend) suggested it looks like a bag for a travel hair dryer. Nicely unwashed denim vibes. Totally Hard Yakka early 90s vibe. Though of course, all that Hard Yakka stuff that came out over here and got worn by Oasis was all fake. Hard Yakka is made for jackroos (iz dat like a kangaroo called Jack?) in the Australian Outback. Where it is fucking hot. A sheepskin (baa) lined denim jacket just did not exist. Until workwear was cool over here and everything got faked up.

THE END.

Anger Is a Gift

I've finally finished my mixtape. It is available to download here and the best tracks can be previewed on the MySpace page. You may have thought it was lost in history never to be heard (like Sharky Major's mixtape that was supposed to come out 3 years ago) but here it is. Most of the tracks on here are specials, dubs or exclusives. One or two were given to me as exclusives but ended up being released before I finished this because it's taken me so long to do. The others are just favourites that I always play when I DJ out. Here is the tracklist:

01. Intro
02. Virgo feat. B-Live & Flirta D - The Clack Riddim (Prancehall Special)
03. Tempa T - Tempz
04. Terror Danjah - Zumpti Huntah
05. Jammer - Toxic Freestyle
06. Yung Joc - Do Ya Bad
07. Brains - Plastic (Instrumental)
08. Scratchy, Skepta & Breeze - Vice Freestyle
09. Jitset feat. Jammer - Mary Jane Remix
10. Brains feat. Slinga, 2-Pac & Biggie - Thug Love
11. Matt Shadetek - Bump Bump
12. Lewi White feat. Busy Signal & Mavado - Vice Freestyle
13. Brains - Neva Eva
14. Big Kuntry feat. Yung Joc & T.I. - Yeah (Remix)
15. Mavado - Wah Dem A Do (Dexplicit Remix)
16. Rossi B & Luca feat. Scorcher - Not No Talker
17. Tinchy Stryder feat. Fuda Guy - Sick Ina Head
18. Matt Shadetek feat. Skepta - Reign
19. Jammer feat. Delishus - Vice Freestyle
20. DVA feat. Badness - Prancehall Dub
21. Ruff Sqwad - Untitled
22. Jammer feat. Ce'Cile - Prancehall Dub
23. Syer B - Badboy (Prancehall Special)
24. Slix - Down and Out
25. Statik feat. Faction G - Lily Allen Remix
26. Ce'Cile - Tell Me What You Love (Cheerful Riddim)
27. Ears feat. Flamin - Fergalicious Freestyle
28. Brains feat. Knuckles - Damn (Remix)
29. Riko - Prancehall Dub
30. Statik feat. Tempa T, Kraze & Esco - Bad Guys
31. Statik feat. Cham - Prancehall Story
32. Outro
BONUS TRACK:
Fish Go Deep - The Cure & The Cause (Jitset's 'The Chop & The Screw' Remix)

Some notes:
For track 5, I asked Jammer to do a vocal of "Toxic" after I heard him freestyle over it the night David Banner played at The Old Blue Last. For track number 10 my friend Jamie-James (who helped loads with this) had the idea of doing a track using the most famous deceased grime MC, Slinga from YGC, plus the two most famous deceased hip-hop MCs. He got some Slinga a cappellas off Jammer and then gave them to my friend Brains to build a track around the vocals. For track number 12 I got one of my favourite grime beats ever and gave it to VBS when they were going to Jamaica to film a documentary and asked them to get some dancehall MCs to vocal it. Mavado and Busy Signal both obliged and then when they got back, Jammer blended the two together to make one song. They followed Mavado around for a week to convince him to do it and then they had to sit around for seven hours on the day waiting for him to finally record the vocals. Having heard a different version of track 31 that Logan played on Kiss last year, Fuda Guy called up asking could he be on the mixtape. I went to meet him at some random train station in east London late one night to pick up a CD of tracks from him, only to discover when I got home that he'd just given me some really old track featuring him and Stryder that was released ages ago. He later emailed me track 17, which was an exclusive at the time, but I think it was released recently. Track 19 is another dancehall dub that VBS got for me in Jamaica, this time over a Jammer beat. Track 20 is the track I first heard Badness on. Faction G hooked it up for me some time last year and I've been a big fan of Badness ever since. Track 26 is by Ce'Cile and is all about my "big stick". This was another one from the VBS documentary in Jamaica and you can watch the making of the song here. The beat is an old Jammer classic.

There is a bit of a Bugsy Malone theme on this mixtape. Track 24 uses a sample from the "Down & Out" song off the Bugsy Malone soundtrack. After giving Slix the idea and sending him the song, he got Scholar (I never knew he produced either) to make a track for him to vocal. I really wanted to get Ears on the mixtape because he sounds good on pretty much any beat but wanted him to vocal something non-grime because I thought it would be more interesting, so went for "Fergalicious" because it's probably one of the most ridiculous songs ever. Riko made me two specials in return for DJing at his birthday bash last year. One made it on (track 29), the other was hip-hop tempo but I will use it for something one day.

Over a year ago, we held a studio session till three in the morning at Jamie-James's house with Statik, Esco, Tempa T and Kraze. Wiley was supposed to come down too, and kept calling Esco, but in the end he kept to tradition and didn't bother to show up. The sample in track 30 is another one from the Bugsy Malone soundtrack, as you probably already know if you've seen the film. I was going to get Tempa T to do a vocal of that "So You Want To Be A Boxer" song (because he boxes) but it never happened for some reason. The Cham freestyle (track 31) was one of the first songs I got for the mixtape. Statik went to Cham's hotel while he was over in the UK last year and got him to record a special for me over the "Boy" beat. Statik then licenced the beat to the Babyshambles' album or something, so he re-did the vocals over a new beat (which I think I prefer anyway). I can't be bothered to go through all the drops but I managed to get some from people like David Banner, Juvenile and 5th Ward Weebie. I was promised loads more but just didn't have the time to chase them all. The New Orleans drops were hooked up with contacts I got while I was over there last year. Finally, the bonus track is a chopped and screwed version of a funky house song that I got my friend Jitset to do.

Special thanks goes to: Jamie-James, Alex Sturrock, Daniel 7 Year Glitch, Ben, Statik, Brains, Jammer, Faction G, Jack Adams, God, Jesus, Mary, St Joseph, my gran, my two cats and Robert Mugabe.

(If the download link at the top doesn't work, click here to download the mixtape directly.)