Slurp slurp

Hello Buddy

Photo by Alex Sturrock.

There was a piece on the rise of rottweilers or something in the Guardian on Saturday. The following left me a bit puzzled.

"On hip-hop and dubstep videos, on YouTube, on specialist canine websites, rough dogs strut, lunge, fight and hang from tree branches by their teeth, snorting and wheezing, their proud owners grinning beside them."

I've been frantically searching since last night for a dubstep video like the one described and have had no luck so far. The best I could come up with is this:

Gary is the world's only polar bear to master the Rolex Sweep

Hi, this week's Fader column is up. This one is mainly about why Ministry is ruining "urban" music. Plus, there's a wee Zomby mix.

Summertiiieeeiiiieeeiiieeeiiieeeime

That would make a good name for a song.

Lazy Lucy

Best analogies ever written in a high school essay

While perusing my friends' blog, Voodoo Village, I came across a link to a site with the title "Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay". I assume the intention of the site is for people to laugh at how bad these kids' comparisons are but I think some of the analogies are pretty amazing. I am totally ripping them off in the future.

Here are some of my favourites:

"Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."

"The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."

"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."

"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."

Epic

If only all Usher videos were this good.

Me, me, me

I've been preparing you over the last few weeks for this point. I'm leaving behind UrBaN Mu$iC to move into animal journalism. My column in Vice this month is the start of this new career. You can read the online version here, although it's slightly different to the printed copy. Someone has callously Americanised the word "favourite". Also, they edited my honourable animal mentions list, taking out George W. Bush.

Dirty dog

Anyone heard that new Kano mixtape?

Hungry hamster

:-D

My cat came running when she heard this. I guess they all must love theremins.

"On your marks, get steady, let's jog"

New Fader column is up. Below is T2's Kate Nash remix for your painful delectation.

Fading away

Dexplicit. Photo by James Pearson-Howes

Today is Friday, but Thursday is the day when my FADER column goes online. Once a Thursday, every Thursday.

This week it's all about Dexplicit and his dad. Last week was about my friend Melissa's cats.

Conclusive proof (if any were really needed) that Ashley Cole is gay

It's like looking at a pitbull in a wig. I bet he just got "her" to stick that big beady diamante bracelet up his bum or send a few texts to the mobile phone that is already stuck up there.

This >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The new Burial album