Monday

How big is your grill?

Well, I can fit about 8 Jumbo Pork sausages on it...



MP3: Mike Jones, Lil keke and Slim Thug - Cash that I got

MP3: Mike Jones - Still Tippin'

Plasticman is also into that real fried chicken n grits bidniss. He's done a remix of 'Still Tippin', which, apparantly, he's going to release. You can hear it in this 10 minute 4 deck mix up by the man himself. Ya heard?

MP3: Plasticman 4 Deckle mix

Tracklist:

1. Mike Jones - Still Tippin' (Instrumental)
2. Plasticman - Still Tippin' Remix
3. Crazy Titch - Singalong (Acapella)
4. Mariah Carey - We Belong Together (Instrumental)
5. Plasticman - Cha VIP
6. Dexplicit - Unknown
7. Dexplicit - Unknown
8. Wafa - Grime
9. Plasticman - Rickshaw
10. JME - Baraka
11. JME - Blue Portal (Baraka Remix)

If you're wondering what happens if you combine Mike Jones with live Grime MCs, then check this out:

VIDEO: Ears, Jammer & D Double live in Toronto

Go over to Lemon Red to steal a Scrrrewed up Dizzee & Grit Boys track. Big.

Wednesday

Happy Slapz



If, like me, you spend your evenings violently assaulting strangers on the bus and filming it on your camera phone, you can now take it to the next level and relive this fetish online. Go here to beat grime MCs such as JME, Lethal B, Jammer (he's my fave slapping victim) and Flirta D to a bloody pulp, before stealing their phone, stamping on their head, leaving them for dead and so scared that they never leave the house again.

Should have gone to Specsavers



If you've been to a rave in Swindon or Grimsby (or wherever they now hold club Sidewinder) recently, then I'm sure you've witnessed a small, four-eyed, bookish-looking kid MCing like a chihuahua on heat.

Manga, Roll Deep's newest member is, without doubt, their most exciting addition since Dizzee Rascal.

It's hardly surprising how good he is, considering he is actually DMC from Run DMC in disguise.



Well, have you ever seen the two of them in the same room together?

MP3: DJ Garna - Sword Stylee (feat. Manga and Krafty) {stolen from Pearsall}

MP3: Manga - Freestyle {stolen from starz of da street vol 1, available free here}

Monday

Truly Dread

Currently enjoying a DJ Distance mix that will be featured on Gutterbreakz within the next few days. I've also just finished listening to a pirate radio style broadcast from MC Gutter of the gutter breakz legion squad youngers (also available on said blog). My feelings, of late, towards dubstep have transcended apathy, into the realms of couldn't given a shit, considering they never release any fucking records. Not only that, but when someone does release a record, it's usually about 4 years old and by that time you've just completely lost interest.

Nevertheless, I think it's safe to put away the valium, 2 litre bottle of vodka and cheese wire for another small while. There might actually be a bit of action in the Dubstep scene within the next couple of months and Tempa have signed Skream's amazing 'Late Night Request Line', which should be out in late summer.

Holy Sister Philomena of Rhodes!? (shoot me now, I must be hallucinating), vice magazine now also like Dubstep!?!

Vice Magazine Presents...

The Vice alternative Bank Holiday special

Featuring:

The BUG (DJ set)
Digital Mystikz (Rephlex/DMZ)
Kode9 (Hyperdub)

Saturday May 28th, The Old Blue Last, 38 Great Eastern Street, Shoreditch.

FREE ENTRY
8pm - 12am


I'm sure we can look forward to seeing Mala from Digital Mystikz modelling a Maharishi string vest and some American Apparel rasta hats in a forthcoming issue.

---------------------

You can catch Mark One & Virus Syndicate doing a live set this Thursday at Fabric, alongside Miss Kittin, Mu and various others. Let's hope it's not packed full of 14 year olds and tourists like Fabric is every Friday and Saturday night.

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MP3: Loefah - Jungle Infiltrator

The motherfucking rollin deep $$$ squadron cartel

Holy motherfickin jeebus. The Roll Deep crew are going to release a new album. We're not really allowed to criticise it, so...

O.K. Let's think. Erm...no, can't think of anything to say. Have a picture instead:



O.K. I've just remembered something. Their new video's good.

VIDEO: Roll Deep Crew - When I'm 'Ere

Saturday

NO NO NO I DON'T DO NO SUBLOW



Crazy Titch has certainly improved since the days of the rather interesting "I Can C U". What did he use to produce that piece of shit? A Fisher Price Calculator and his mum's music centre?

Even though his MCing style involves shouting at the top of his voice in an incomprehensible manner, he does it in a beautiful (non sexual) way. Isn't that nice. He's even got his own DVD, so he must be big. And, listen here, if that wasn't enough, he's also got the little ugly one from the Sugababes "harmonising" on one of his songs. And he has a dog. Is this man not the most perfect specimen alive? It's no wonder XL Records are sniffing around him and nibbling on his bell end. Anyway, enough banter for one day.

MP3: Alias feat. Crazy Titch & Ugly one from Sugababes - Gully

WMV: Crazy Titch - I Can C U

Tuesday

Screwface me: knock to the eye



It's God's Gift and you know what I'm saying, and you know what the Mucky Wolfpack's saying, but you don't know what the Younger Mucky Wolfpack is saying...

An endangered species, the Younger Mucky wolf is confined to remote areas of Bow High Street. Extremely long legs, an Akademiks hoody and a prominent crest of hair across its shoulders are the main features of the Mucky wolf. Ancestors of the Mucky wolf are thought to have spread from Newham Shopping Centre two million years ago.

Habits
The Mucky wolf lives in the dry, shrubbery council estates and savannas of subtropical East London. Much of this area is grassland, with swampy regions that grow high, lush ganja. The tall grass provides cover, and the Mucky wolf usually makes its den among the thick vegetation, where it spends most of the day barring. It marks its territory with faeces. The Mucky wolf's long legs enable it to see above the tall grass so it can spot wastemen easily. The wolf's toes can be splayed apart, to help it travel on road. Males and females may occupy the same region, but they remain solitary except during the breeding season. Males are very hostile to one another. Two males will stalk around one another with their backs arched and hair erect, giving the impression of beef, but it's usually just "a hype ting".

Breeding

The Mucky wolf mates with any "gyal dem" that gives it out. Its mating habits have been observed only in captivity. It appears that the female makes the first move, bowing in front of the male and rubbing against him while pounding her forepaws on the ground. After a short gestation, the female gives birth to between two and five cubs in her gran's house in Bexley Heath. The cubs weigh about a pound. The female defends her young if necessary, although she sometimes wishes she did go through with the abortion after all. It is thought that the male brings food to the den and regurgitates it for the cubs. The cubs are fully grown in about a year and are then able to start shotting on road.

Food and hunting
Like all big mic mans, the Mucky wolf is a flesh eater, but weed makes up half of its diet. Its favourite food is the wild wasteman guinea pig found in its ends, but it also eats rabbits, rodents, lizards, frogs, birds, fish and KFC. It has sharp canine teeth for tearing meat and broad, flat molars suitable for crushing wastemen. The Mucky wolf hunts at dusk and at night. It stalks its prey carefully, stopping to listen to any mans chatting air. It catches its prey with a swift, high knock to the eye. Occasionally, it digs other mans out of their burrows and slews them if they've been calling out their name.

Key facts
Length: 5 to 5 1/2 feet
Weight: 90 lbs
Sexual maturity: 11 years, rarely breeds before 12 years
Breeding season: Any time there is gash on show, innit

Lifestyle

Habit: Weed, mostly
Diet: Small mammals, reptiles, Ribena
Life span: 12 to 15 years if they don't get shanked or shot
Threat posture: Stands on stiffened legs. Raises mane and white hairs on its throat and draws for the skeng
Body: Smaller and lighter than that of an older Mucky wolf, but can still step to any man. Relatively short tail
Mane: Avirex jacket or if their mum can't afford that, a Puma hoodie
Ears: Long and large so they can detect anyone calling out names - like the ears of a fox (but not like Ears from Jahmek the World)
Movement: Mans can go anywhere to rep their ends

Monday

Something old, something new, something borrowed...



Erm....

Firstly, check out this track from a few years back, when DJ Narrows-esque 4/4 Garage was all the rage:

MP3: Youngsta - Raw 2 Da Floor

Now, an unsigned track from Hell Science Dept. (awful name, i know) hailing from the Grimey ends of New Zealand.

MP3: Hell Science Dept. - Predator

I've been trawling the internet, "borrowing" (stealing) from other blogs, but we'll keep that between me and you, so check out this exclusive that you'll find nowhere else at all on the internet. Don't even bother looking for this anywhere else because it's totally exclusive to me. Don't even think about looking at Breaking Ranks. I was there first. I was on this track before it was even made. Did I mention this was an exclusive?

MP3: South Rakkas Crew - Bionic Ras Riddim

Dancehall DJs are calling it Electro-Dancehall, but any Grime DJ worth their weight in skag has been dropping this in their sets.

Look out for Capleton: "Long Time" on this riddim, where he sends for Elephant Man.

Buy Bionic Ras

Saturday

Send for the steel pipe, draw for the gun



With Shizzle featuring on Forward 2, he's blatantly gonna blow up, so the question is, could he be the new Lady Sovereign?

No. This guy can actually MC. Check out these bars on DJ Mondie's "Straight" riddim:

MP3: Shizzle - Straight

I think it's a true testament to how great an MC is when, even with Bruza MCing on the same record, it still sounds amazing.

MP3: Bruza, Napper & Shizzle - Ave some of that

DPM Recordings.

Hold tight Jack on this one.

Buy DJ Mondie - 'Straight'

Wednesday

Ghetto Koyote



It's silly how many good grime records are around at the moment.

This morning's postal arrivals:

Ruff Sqwad - Underground
J Sweet - Kerb
Kamikaze - Ghetto Koyote

"Ghetto Koyote" just sneaks it for best of the bunch. Here's one of the many vocal versions (not featured on the 12"):

MP3: Kano - Ghetto Koyote

This isn't Kano's best vocal performance ever, but it's all about the production. Think "Misty Cold" or "Functions on the low".

Buy the Ghetto Koyote Instrumental here
.

Sunday

Ruff Sqwad

I've been going a bit crazy recently with the new mp3s, so I'm gonna concentrate on the older tracks for a while.



MP3: Tinchy Stryder - Move

The original younger. Look out for his clash with Ears on Lord Of The Decks 3.



If you're too poor to afford Channel U or if you live with your gran, then here's the new Ruff Sqwad video. The 12" is out now in about 4 record shops in East London.

WMV: Ruff Sqwad - Anna/Down Video

Buy 12" here.

Buy the Ruff Sqwad Mixtape here
.

Friday

Forward 2





MP3: Lethal B - Forward 2

Featuring Bruza, Shizzle, JME, Lady Fury, Kano and many more...

It probably won't be out for at least 6 months considering it's not even getting radio play on the pirates yet, so instead...

Buy Lethal B & Fire Camp - No