Tuesday

Screwface me: knock to the eye



It's God's Gift and you know what I'm saying, and you know what the Mucky Wolfpack's saying, but you don't know what the Younger Mucky Wolfpack is saying...

An endangered species, the Younger Mucky wolf is confined to remote areas of Bow High Street. Extremely long legs, an Akademiks hoody and a prominent crest of hair across its shoulders are the main features of the Mucky wolf. Ancestors of the Mucky wolf are thought to have spread from Newham Shopping Centre two million years ago.

Habits
The Mucky wolf lives in the dry, shrubbery council estates and savannas of subtropical East London. Much of this area is grassland, with swampy regions that grow high, lush ganja. The tall grass provides cover, and the Mucky wolf usually makes its den among the thick vegetation, where it spends most of the day barring. It marks its territory with faeces. The Mucky wolf's long legs enable it to see above the tall grass so it can spot wastemen easily. The wolf's toes can be splayed apart, to help it travel on road. Males and females may occupy the same region, but they remain solitary except during the breeding season. Males are very hostile to one another. Two males will stalk around one another with their backs arched and hair erect, giving the impression of beef, but it's usually just "a hype ting".

Breeding

The Mucky wolf mates with any "gyal dem" that gives it out. Its mating habits have been observed only in captivity. It appears that the female makes the first move, bowing in front of the male and rubbing against him while pounding her forepaws on the ground. After a short gestation, the female gives birth to between two and five cubs in her gran's house in Bexley Heath. The cubs weigh about a pound. The female defends her young if necessary, although she sometimes wishes she did go through with the abortion after all. It is thought that the male brings food to the den and regurgitates it for the cubs. The cubs are fully grown in about a year and are then able to start shotting on road.

Food and hunting
Like all big mic mans, the Mucky wolf is a flesh eater, but weed makes up half of its diet. Its favourite food is the wild wasteman guinea pig found in its ends, but it also eats rabbits, rodents, lizards, frogs, birds, fish and KFC. It has sharp canine teeth for tearing meat and broad, flat molars suitable for crushing wastemen. The Mucky wolf hunts at dusk and at night. It stalks its prey carefully, stopping to listen to any mans chatting air. It catches its prey with a swift, high knock to the eye. Occasionally, it digs other mans out of their burrows and slews them if they've been calling out their name.

Key facts
Length: 5 to 5 1/2 feet
Weight: 90 lbs
Sexual maturity: 11 years, rarely breeds before 12 years
Breeding season: Any time there is gash on show, innit

Lifestyle

Habit: Weed, mostly
Diet: Small mammals, reptiles, Ribena
Life span: 12 to 15 years if they don't get shanked or shot
Threat posture: Stands on stiffened legs. Raises mane and white hairs on its throat and draws for the skeng
Body: Smaller and lighter than that of an older Mucky wolf, but can still step to any man. Relatively short tail
Mane: Avirex jacket or if their mum can't afford that, a Puma hoodie
Ears: Long and large so they can detect anyone calling out names - like the ears of a fox (but not like Ears from Jahmek the World)
Movement: Mans can go anywhere to rep their ends

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your 2004 mix is so good.

Ummm...tracklist?

:)

Adamrl

893 said...

BUMPER CARS!!!! OWWWW!!!!

adamrl said...

thanks!

Yes, more mixes please.