Kano's back!

Whoa. I've just been sent the video for Kano's new single. Let me warn you: it's TOTALLY different to his stuff on 679. I think he's going for a "Sensual Seduction"-type vibe. So weird. All those years in the industry have really aged him (I didn't even recognise him!) and disfigured his musical direction.

A little UK rap blast from the past

Here's a little history lesson fo' yo' ass, Americans (and other foreigners). Back before your Skeptas and your Plan Bs and your Bradley from S Clubs, there was this rapper called Andy Cole. His right hand man was an MC from Tobago called Dwight Yorke aka The Smiling Assassin (look him up on Soulseek). Anyway, they were in this crew called Manchester United, who were, like, really big in the late nineties and stuff. They also had an Irish DJ called DJ Dennis Irwin. Erm, that's all I can remember but check out the above song - it's really good.

(Video stolen from Voodoo Village.)

Knife Crime Nuggets #3

David Cameron can't help, Gordon Brown can't help, even Richard Blackwood can't help. So who can help stop this knife crime epidemic that is terrorising our country? Well, one man has decided to single-handedly take on the responsibility of this broken, debilitated society that we live in. And that man is Bombhead from Hollyoaks. Enlisting the help of his gormless mate, the "actor" has penned a touching ditty (above) to inspire teenagers not to stab each other. It's strangely addictive, just like knife crime, in fact.

(Thanks to Tom for sending over the original video.)

The Lightning Bolt

Following her glorious Olympic swimming triumph, mega hero Rebecca 'The Dolphin' Adlington has had a Yates’s pub in Mansfield named after her.

It was always going to be hard for the Jamaicans to match this tasteful and timeless memento when they were honouring chicken nugget-scoffing superhuman Usain Bolt, but I think they've managed it – just. He's been given his own dancehall dance called the Lightning Bolt.

After his 100m and 200m finals, Bolt did the Nuh Linga and the Gully Creepa dances (which are also songs by Elephant Man).

As a tribute, Elephant Man does the Lightning Bolt above. Enjoy.

The future of knife crime

It's a knife that is also a gun. Wait till gangs start importing these. Sorry, I meant: wait till the government start importing these - 'cos they iz bringin' in all da gunz, innit. Run for your lives, Great Britain! Run for your fucking lives!

Thought of the day

[Not completely related to this video but ...] There are few things less appealing than watching a girl passionately shouting along to that annoying sample (that dubstep nerds insist on labelling correctly as an Armando Iannucci pisstake of a scene from the film Snatch, because otherwise they get really stressed and they are too ill to drink Red Stripe all night and pat each other on the back and their skanky dreadlocks fall out) in Rusko's "Cockney Thug" - while holding a can of Red Stripe aloft in the air. PS. These guys must LOVE dubstep. PPS. They should've got them to do the "Night" video.

The US equivalent of grindie?

Introducing Brokencyde - a screamo-crunk band. Think Enter Shikari meets Reh Dogg. They've even got a guy specifically to do T-Pain-esque Auto-Tuned vocals. The video really doesn't do them justice, so check their MySpace. Oh yeah, did I mention they've got a crunk pig mascot?

Lazy Lucy

Kick the burger

Number one jam for the summer.

The most effective anti-drugs advert ever made

Reh Dogg goes high budget (comparatively)

Great chorus, amazing new look.

Mad flava, Tim Westwood

Whoa, man. Like, whoa. Just whoa. They need to give this dude his own TV show or radio show or something.

Iced Tea

I'm betting 50p Dizzee repeatedly asked to be present at the video shoot

UK hip-hop

"Hi, I'm a total idiot who watched 8 Mile once."

Phat

New Blackout Crew. It's a good one. The opening scenes are a bit like a Crimewatch reconstruction.

Epic

If only all Usher videos were this good.

Dancehall masochist

I thought the video I posted of the Japanese dancehall fan girl (which has now been removed, unfortunately) was a bit worrying in places, but this is next level. These guys are putting some WCW-style sex pest moves on her. I was expecting the Jamaican Undertaker to come out at any minute and clothesline her before finishing her with a Tombstone Piledriver.

Prancehall.com goes foreign language

Hungarian cod-ska gypsy music with a 2-step intro - I bet you 50p there will be a Mad Decent podcast on this stuff before the end of the year. Also, if you were to add a couple of vocal drops like "Porky Pie Productionz" or "DJ Cameo exclusive" on top of it and loop the sound of someone blowing wind, this could be a shit bassline tune.



This is a clip from a film called You, The Living. I nearly walked out of the cinema when I discovered it had subtitles, but this is the only film I can remember seeing that had me constantly laughing out loud without resorting to crude, inappropriate jokes or name-calling.

"I do like these trotters, I must say"

Esco and Fresh Money - "Dun Dem Credit"

This is Esco of Leftside & Esco fame (not the guy in Slew Dem Crew who annoyingly refuses to release anything) trying to put on an English accent in a recent dancehall song. Apparently they were watching an English film and decided to start Googling English things to talk about. By the sound of it, I would guess Danny Dyer was probably playing some type of part in the film. Innit. Btw, do you think this is kind of like what Jamaicans hear when someone like Jamakabi does his "yardie flow"?