In praise of Coolio on Celebrity Big Brother

I wrote this thing in which I expounded my love of Coolio for the Guardian TV blog a week ago but unfortunately it only went up on Friday – the day after Channel 4 screened the episode in which he started getting aggressive and tediously petty with some of the laydeez. Owing to this, the piece makes me look like I'm a deranged misogynist – which isn't (entirely) true.

I'm thinking I should've got that guy up there to give me some pointers beforehand. I'll know for next time ...

"Shout out to Burger King"

I'm pretty over the really bad, cringeworthy jokes about Big Brother so I didn't want to mention it this year. But my friend sent me this clip of Harry Hill's TV Burp and pointed me to 03:50, where Calista is in the studio performing. Have a look. "I love to play my bongos in the morrrrnnning" – that has to be the biggest vocal hook ever. If this gets released it's gonna be like DJ NG's "Tell Me" multiplied by "Pow" to the power of T2. Look out for the Styleslut feature on it in Pimp Magazine in 2010.



Try to ignore Big Narstie's freestyle here but listen out for the constant jibes from Westwood ("Shout out to Burger King" etc.) and look at everyone else's reaction around him. It's basically like the fat kid at school getting picked on. Quite sad really.

Thoughts

Is it just me or does Eminem look like Brian Dowling (of Big Brother fame) these days?



This Benga album, Diary of an Afro Warrior, is pretty jazzy in places. Some of it sounds a bit like the soundtrack to a really epic soft porn film. In theory, I should really hate it but it's so different from what I was expecting that I think I like it. Btw, did I ever mention that "Night" sounds a bit like a pigeon being gently prodded by a nail?

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Here is a very short Mavado interview by me translated into Italian. You can't say I don't cater for you lucky 0.2 per cent who accidentally stumble across this blog in between looking for pizza recipes, cheap slip-on brogues, Roberto Cavalli thongs, Brylcreem and cures for crabs (only joking about the last one).

Won't let any mentally vacant z-list celeb ting get by me

Dizzee Rascal went on a "hot date" with Chanelle from Big Brother last night. "Big look for the scene", as they say. When Wiley wants to get some hype and interest he calls out Ghetto's name, when Dizzee wants to get some hype he takes an ex-Big Brother contestant to celebrity nosh palace Nobu. Apparently they have the same management and "Flex" is out soon so I guess Mr Rascal can forget the fact he already has a girlfriend for a few weeks.

TOO BIG

OMG! So I was in bed last night, as usual listening to Rinse FM with my bottle of Johnson's Baby Oil, looking for some late night entertainment. I flick on to Channel 4 hoping for another Emmanuelle re-run and then OMG! Maxwell D, DJ Scientist and Bruza (for some peculiar reason, he's calling himself Derek) are all sitting around in the Big Brother house. WTF? Bruza's pretending he's some kind of camp socialite (I always knew he wasn't real...) and Maxwell D is now white (talk about a change of image). I didn't witness anyone "barring", although there was some "beef": DJ Scientist (who appears to be pretending he's in the Virus Syndicate?!) grabbed a plastic dustbin and tried to merk Maxwell D. It was like the "Don't watch no face" Lady Fury Conflict DVD incident all over again! The whole thing had me in a lather of sweat.

I was wondering why Scientist wasn't doing his Rinse FM show this week. Now it's all so clear. I know Muskateers Crew have been getting air on road, but was there really any need for this Maxwell? I expected it from Bruza, but i thought more of you.