Sunday

Knife Crime Nuggets #6: Is Nike actively encouraging knife crime?



You may have heard the news earlier this year that Nike's Air Stab footwear range has been withdrawn from shops in the UK because the media are obsessed with knife crime and anything which can be tenuously linked to knives if heinous and offensive. "Political correctness gone mad" etc. Well, hang on there a second, let's take a look at some more Nike products which may or may not encourage knife crime.



"Shank" sunglasses!? Am I reading this correctly? Sunglasses which can be used as "shanks"!? Oh no! That's disgraceful! Also, if you squint really hard the pointy end of the arm looks a bit like a (slightly blunt) knife.



The "Nike Considered Pocket Knife" trainer!? What a callous and despicably cunning name for a product. Can you see the real message behind the name of these shoes? It's basically telling teenagers: "Have you ever considered carrying a pocket knife in your shoe so you will be able to hide it from the police?" The blurb with the product also tries to disguise the fact it is promoting knife crime by pretending it has some benefits. "The ... Pocket Knife ... reduces solvent [ab]use." Oh, so it stops kids sniffing glue does it? How does it do that? By encouraging all the kids to kill each other so there is no one left to sniff glue? Yeah, thought so.



With this product Nike is pretty much telling people to attack girls. This is sick. They are telling people to hunt down girls and stab them. Nike is brainwashing our nation's innocent youth. Ban this filth. BAN THIS FILTH NOW! BAN IT!!!!!!!! BAAAANNNNN ITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

you should submit this as a 'more or bore' story to the londonpaper LOL i would vote in more a million times

Anonymous said...

Three words:


Piss. Fucking. Poor.

Anonymous said...

one word: LOL

Anonymous said...

i can't believe there are people who read this site who still don't get it.

p.s. you should submit this as a story to the sun. they'd prob run it on the front page.

Anonymous said...

that made my day!

:-)

Lord Zoopington Zoopwith Zoop said...

Going on like a cutprice Chris Morris lately ese, should tone down the faux outrage just a tad.

Shank sunglasses though, LOL

Pop Lock and Drop said...

"Holmes" upstairs needs to tone down the faux cholo act. Who says ese in Britain '08 ? Shhiiiit. Come on now.

wallahi said...

brasseye hasn't been around for 10 years so if this is the only dose of over the top satire we can get then so be it, cos it's hilarious. chris morris didn't invent satire and i don't see anyone else doing a post like this. and i've been all over the internet. trust me, everyone else is earnestly blogging about streetwear. dark times.

Whathehelle Fontenelle said...

Flippin' hilarious. I'm damn sure the Sunday (fucking) Express would front page this material at the drop of an extremely blunted pin... Tossers.