14 reasons why the new Burial album isn't as good as everyone says it is

1. I was in a shop on Carnaby Street today and I heard a girl telling her friend that for Christmas she had bought her little brother "a box set of Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps and a copy of the Burial album."

2. Every song sounds the same

3. Keeping your identity secret is gay unless you are me

4. It sounds like Enya doing dubstep

5. The first album was better

6. The best song he's made this year ("Unite") wasn't even on the album

7. The picture on the cover looks like something an autistic 12 year-old UK hip-hop fan from Luton would draw at an after school art class and then plan to print on a T-shirt (but never actually get round to doing it)

8. The drums are too awkward

9. People get really precious when I slag it off

10. No one sent me a free copy

11. One of the tracks is called "In McDonalds", which is actually a good name but considering he calls most songs things like "Archangel" and "Ghost Hardware" makes it look totally out of place and achingly forced: "I make music that reflects true British urban culture".

12. He has repeatedly told people he has no idea how to produce

13. In 20 years, when people look back at dubstep this will be the album that people most remember and will probably be cited as "dubstep's Timeless" or something.

14. Because I fucking said so, OK?


Anonymous said...

LOL @ Dubstep's Enya...true say

Pete said...

This is half ture, and is really funny, but yur definatley gonna get slew fo this, not that you'll care

Anonymous said...

No.7!!! VERY VERY TRUE. THE ARTWORK IS WASTE. Why is there soo much hype about this album... Very average if you ask me, its gonna blatantly get shortlisted for a Mercury and the urbanite twats will suck his cock, see Guardian Urban section and all other whitewashed bandwagon media outlets.

Anonymous said...

Here's how it goes in the coffee table music stakes:

Jamie Cullum
James Blunt
Now That's What I Call Panpipes Vol 2

Music to make you snoooooooooore

Anonymous said...

LOL defo will get a Mercury it go mainstream and dubstep will become your gran's favourite new music, Burial feat MC Max Bygraves.

Anonymous said...

ive been saying its shit on ilx for ages. i thought i was the only one. it all sounds the same, sounds like hes run out of ideas, and the drums on there are shit. so are the vocals if im honest. its like hes repeating the first album, only (a lot) less good, and trying to make it more danceable, which he is obviously crap at. artwork is better than the first one though.


dan hancox said...

Lol Burial explored some new ideas since the first album, shouldn't you try and do the same? It was funny the first time, don't get me wrong. Yknow. The first time.

Unless this is some genius satire, and by doing an inferior copy of the same hatchet job you did the first time, you're mimicking Burial's follow-up to the success of the first album.

Polhoclot said...

lol @ realizing Burial forcing things two years after "U hurt me" :3


i never really talked about the first album. i just did a review for vice. see point 9.


and i didn't even mention anything about whales for this one (but that's cos i forgot)

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! i thought i was the only one thinking this. the new burial is TRANCE. yuck.

zach said...

I wouldnt call the album dubstep !!!! The album is fuckin sik !!! jz cz u didnt gt a free copy album is different and is more chill out and less skankage !!?! although we do the later !!!

Anonymous said...

So it's not dubstep Zach, it's chill out? Riiiiight....shhh dont tell Burial lol

Anonymous said...

burial is just the new trip hop, dinner party music.

Anonymous said...

Re. 11: Practically everyone misses the point of track names like "In McDonalds, "Night Bus", "Dog Shelter" and so on. He's not trying to be ironic by giving fairly mundane, dreary names to quite beautiful ambient/atmospheric tracks. He's trying to evoke the feeling of, for instance, getting a night bus back from the club with ears ringing and a head full of pills, or going into an empty McDonalds in the early hours of the morning to get something to eat after a night out. I read a review once where the writer said the titles were Burial trying to do bathos, "from the sublime to the ridiculous", and it basically just showed his middle class prejudices. "In McDonalds? LOL that's where poor people eat!"

Burial's music's not really club music, its more "Looking back on the night through a dirty comedown" kind of music. Faded Garage. Whimsical and sentimental, for people that have grown up since the late 90s but still look back with a smile.

Its not Dubstep, frankly I wouldn't sully it with that name when 90% of the genre is either cringemaking and boring Jafaikan Mogodon Halfstep or wobbly shite. I suppose if Burial called his tunes things like "Jah Lion Dub" or "Leng Man Tune" he would get a little more respect in some quarters.

Saying Burial is like Dubstep by Enya is like saying LTJ Bukem is Jungle/D&B by Enya. I guess scenes which are all about street posturing don't take kindly to attempts at good production and musical depth. I hope there's more handclaps and a Tempa T guest vocal for you lot next time round.

Untrue and the album before it are as close to high concept LPs that you're gonna get. They are the sound of a cold autumn/winter in dirty old London town, not just a collection of identikit, disposable club bangers. Its the defining deep 2step disc that MJ Cole, Wookie, and all the others failed to make, and that most of today's Dubstep scene will never come close to. If that's not a reason for it to be remembered in 10 or 20 years time, then I don't know what is.

Anonymous said...

Oh and btw, name even one Dubstep album that even comes close. Til Toastyboy releases an LP, I doubt there will be.

Merry Christmas Prancehall, hope your prezzies are a lot

Tom said...

re: 07. I originally thought the artwork was shit, but when you get the LP it looks really nice.
re: In McDonalds, yeah I thought the same thing.

I love the album though, and I get the impression from this comment box that a bunch of people were just waiting for someone like prancehall to say it was crap so they could be the first to jump onboard.

Anonymous said...

"Its the defining deep 2step disc that MJ Cole failed to make"

i thought sincere was a great defining 2 step disc

on burial.. not saying its great, but whatever it is, it's better than all the other shitty dubstep round atm.

prancey im in london until the day of NYE.. really want to check some grime.. any gigs at all where i can see some big names? any streets corners i should stand on if i want to spot jammer rolling down the street? help me out, i wont be back here for at least 5 years and by then the scene will be well gonzo

Tom said...

Go Dirty Canvas on the 29th:
Wiley, Loefah, Ghetto, Temps, Oneman and other people. @ Rhythm Factory in Whitechapel.

Anonymous said...

"He's not trying to be ironic by giving fairly mundane, dreary names to quite beautiful ambient/atmospheric tracks. He's trying to evoke the feeling of, for instance, getting a night bus back from the club with ears ringing and a head full of pills, or going into an empty McDonalds in the early hours of the morning to get something to eat after a night out."

Erm, Prancehall never claimed owt different. He just pointed out how wank and hollow it makes titles like that sound when juxtaposed with the rest of his stuff.

Well done on rehashing every review of the album in under 500 words, though.

Anonymous said...

most overrated thing of 2007 (apart from T2-heartbroken). this album was so boring and uncreative.
he first album was miles better.

slackk said...

My problem with it isn't the album itself but the people who say it perfectly encapsulates london and all that shit. It doesn't because life isn't this miserable and no come down or part of a night out has ever been like this. You smoke weed and have a laugh. I/we do anyway, not sit there miserable listening to two step drum patterns.

If "McDonalds" reminds someone of getting a burger after a nightout they have some serious depression issues I reckon. Nightbus? Nice title but it's no N47, no way.

It's an alright album like, but the credence some people are giving it is just weird. Surely it's just some random ambient garage that sounds better in headphones than it does on speakers.

Anonymous said...

Slackk: The thing is though, it's not miserable. The first album was pretty miserable in places, this is more bittersweet I guess.

Fair enough if you don't like the comparisons. Its not depressed though, more knackered but happy if that makes any sense. To me it really does speak to me in a way that not a lot of music does.

I guess you can say that Burial's music does seem to take itself a little too seriously, but life isn't all having a laugh and smoking weed... Untrue is a grown up Garage record, it has a bit more depth and substance and I guess you might equate that with "boring" or "miserable"