This just in from my friend Ted: "I've met the attempted murderer in that documentary on your Fader column. I moved into his old house in Clapton Park Estate about eight years ago. He had photos of himself holding knives lying around. Lots of gaunt, wild-eyed people kept calling by asking for him and Transport For London sent about 20 letters addressed to him during the two years I lived there. We found a photo of him posing and put it on the wall as a memento."
London Transport fines, eh? Thish guy'sh more big time than I firsht shushpected.
The rather picturesque estate in question.
To find out more about the house, I asked Ted to come down to the station to help me with my inquiries.
Detective Chief Inspector Prancehall: What was the house like? Ted: Grey, bars over most of the windows, but big. It had three floors, a big kitchen and living room, and was very cheap. I think I paid about £250 a month.
Fill me in on the general decor. Erm, it was minimal. When he was still there, there were knives lying around upstairs, and a relaxing scent of weed.
Was it fully furnished? It had a greeny-beige three-piece-suite, beds and cupboards.
Carpet or a wipeable surface on the floor in the bathroom? Wipeable laminate surface everywhere except the stairs.
Did you have a garden? Yep, but never bothered with it.
Was there a mice problem when you moved in? No sir.
OK, tell me about the inside of the microwave. You can usually tell how clean a house is from the inside of the microwave. I have never used a microwave.
Below is an interview I did with T2 for the new issue of Vice. I don't have my laptop with me here in New York so I can't put up the full transcribe with questions about him ripping off speed garage and stuff like that. Maybe when I get back I'll upload the rest. He plays down the influence of speed garage etc. on his music, if you were wondering. Anyway, here it is with an intro:
If you're a teenager living in a council estate anywhere north of Grimsby, you won't be spending your weekends at home practicing WCW wrestling moves on your terrified cat, smoking weed, and listening to Ghetto's new mixtape. No, instead the chances are you'll be riding in your 1992 Ford Fiesta down to your local nightclub with your Rockport loafers, fake D&G shirt and enough diamante encrusted jewellery to choke a murder of crows to listen to some banging bassline house. If you didn't know, bassline house (AKA niche after the club in Sheffield where the scene began) is the biggest thing up north since coal. The records all sound like stuff producers such as DJ Narrows, Sirus and Wire were putting out in 2002 but that hasn't stopped everyone going insane for it. The scene is being led by 19-year-old Leeds producer T2. He was homeless until last year, but after topping every garage chart and being the most requested song on Kiss, Choice and 1Xtra his song "Heartbroken" has been signed to a major. It's now being played by Jo Whiley and Edith Bowman on daytime Radio 1, and it looks like it will go top 10. All of this off the back of a scene which sounds like a slightly updated version of speed garage? Honestly, Todd Edwards would be turning in his grave (if he were actually dead).
Prancehall: Where did your name come from? T2: I was in love with a movie called Terminator 2: Judgement Day, still. I liked the big guns. It was fascinating for a little kid – that big ting that he had. Like when he was fighting all them police, that was sick, bro. There was this enemy – the guy they was running away from when they rescued the yoot – and he could turn to liquid. He could turn into a police officer, he could turn into a woman, he could run fast and he could just turn his hands into metal. That was sick.
Did you ever wish you could time travel like the Terminator? Nah, it was just sick though, the fact he could do that. I rated him, innit. Man came from the future, boy, and just landed like a beam. Phhhfffwwwooosssshhhhh. The first time I couldn't even watch it, yeah. My mum wouldn't let me, you get me? It was a bit late. I must've seen like 10 minutes into it and I got told to go to bed.
Why do people have such a love/hate relationship with Terminator? Well, when you think of it now, he's just the dumbest guy, Arnold Schwarzenegger. But when you're a little kid it's fascinating – all the action and that. A lot of people think it's dumb. It's just like cartoons – it worked for kids but it might not work for adults.
Would you say the dichotomy between the two different takes on Terminator is a reflection of some sort of personal inner turmoil? Is that why you called yourself T2? Nah, I'd rather take love, not hate. I'm not that kind of guy, to be honest. I'm just a good guy. I'm not really a hard person to get along with.
If art is an imitation of life, and life of art, how do you reconcile the problem of unblemished reality in your work? That is to say - in reflecting reality, when you make music are you being T2, or are you doing T2? It's a bit of both, really. I live music, bro. I live it, I breathe it. My whole life evolves around it.
Hi. Here is an interview I did with Sheffield producer Toddla T for my music column in the new Vice. For some reason they took out the pic of him and replaced it with people dropping some mad crazy science all over the dancefloor, i.e. doing some breakdancing. Weird.
Prancehall: You sound like someone who is trying to make dancehall/techno/garage/house/hip-hop all at once within the same track without coming across like those dicks who make stuff like Baltimore bootlegs of kuduro tracks with an Akon acappella and a Daft Punk sample hook, and describe their tastes as "eclectic". Tell me about that. Toddla T: Well I first started producing when I was about 16, which is when I started going raving. I was exposed to loads of stuff like electro, dancehall, house, techno etc. There are some wicked party DJs in Sheffield who mash it up really well - DJ Pipes, Winston Hazel and Monkz. I used to go to all these little parties, mainly warehouse things. There is this party called Kabal up here where the sonic is very individual. You'll hear bleepy techno next to the new Dave Kelly riddim but it all makes sense. It's something I've only really heard up here. I remember going to them parties when I was about 17/18 and just being blown away by it all. I thought it was amazing how it was all linked in so well.
Which dancehall producers are you into? I really like South Rakkas Crew. I love "Bionic Ras" - it's a couple years old now I know but still kills me. I'm not a straight up dancehall head, though. I like the slightly mental producers like DJ C, Heatwave and Ross Orton – the guy who produced "Galang".
Do you know about Stephen McGregor? He was like 15 when he produced Red Bull & Guinness, which pretty much broke Mavado's career. Yeah I remember Robbo Ranx going on about him. I need to check him out.
So why are you named after a baby? I've always been the youngest out of all my friends - I was always Lil' Tom. It just went from there, really.
You do now if you were called Toddla P that would be bad because it might imply you had a really small penis, i.e. the size of a toddler's? Ah, seen. Maybe that could be the indie side project.
Did you know Ce'Cile made a dub for me saying I have a "big stick"? Would you shag her?
Yeah, probably. Would you? You'd have to.
Have you ever tried collaborating with a real toddler? Nah, that could be deep though.
You should get Jammer's kid to vocal one of your beats. Jammer's voicemail message is his son beatboxing and rapping over "Destruction". Serocee's kid is in training. I could get both of them. Toddla T and The Toddlers. You should be an A&R.
I interviewed Durrty Goodz for the new issue of Vice. I almost didn't want it to run. It was such a hassle to get hold of him, he wouldn't answer most of the questions, his manager rang me to say I'd asked the wrong questions, then emailed to ask to see if he could see the interview before it went to print. Then, to top it all off Goodz was too busy to have his picture taken so I had to spend days running round trying to get an unpublished one. Eventually I got the one above, but I had to deal with the photographer calling to ask if he would actually get paid for the picture or if I was just lying. He also called our photo editor to interrogate him because I guess he didn't believe I was telling the truth. Weird. Anyway, here's the unedited interview:
Prancehall: Have you spoken to Titch recently? Durrty Goodz: Yeah, I speak to him all the time. He phones me. He's alright, he's just holding his head down.
Has he made an appeal? I'm not even too sure – I haven't really spoke to him deep like that. When we speak we're just talking normal.
How did you feel when you found out you were a suspect in the case? You know, I can't even remember. All I know is I felt terrible, just like anyone would. It's a bit too much for me to even think back because my head was probably just spinning but my head's straight right now.
What was prison like? Prison is just like prison. I suppose it's the same as anywhere, but I dunno. It's just prison innit, it's just jail innit. You just wanna get out because it's not a place built for human beings. And that's that. Music don't live there, music's out here. Yeah, that's why I'm here. What would you eat for breakfast? You don't get breakfast and those things. They don't do that. You have to survive for yourself, innit. I don't even take food from them. I wouldn't even eat, I'd just eat my own stuff. I'd just do my own thing. I don't think they even give people food. They call it food but I don't think it's food. What did you think about when you were sat in your cell? All sorts of thoughts go through your head because that's the reality of the case, but most of the time I was probably just thinking about my family.
Were you ever scared? It depends because when you know you've done nothing wrong then sometimes you've got nothing to be scared about. At the same time, you know that the system's wonky so you always have like a couple of scary thoughts in the back of your mind.
What was the prison itself like? They're all gritty. All prisons are filthy. Like I said, it's no place for a human being.
Was there one definitive moment that made you think you really didn't want to be there? Yeah, there was loads of stuff but you can just look at a prison screw – just look at his face – and you wouldn't be next to that kind of face. Not when you're known for, like, having pretty ladies and that. I saw so much violence in there that I can't even say right now. I see a lot of stuff, I see a lot of stuff. It will probably be all revealed one day. Panorama will probably go in there and tell you what's happening. I don't think people understand. That place is so deep - you could just see the food and get upset and know that you're not meant to be there. It's not food, it's just garbage. Everything's just garbage. It's not the standard of living of where you come from. You're gonna be upset every second you're there.
What did you do all day? There's nothing to do, just read, innit. Just the same old shit every day. There's nothing to do, ever.
Were there jobs you could do? Probably, but I don't speak to no one so no one's not going to offer me nothing that I don't really need.
How did you feel when the verdict was read out? They just said I could go and I went downstairs. Then, the others had to stay there. They just told me to go so I went.
What was going through your mind? Did you think about Titch? Yeah I saw them when they came back downstairs. I was upset for them.
Did they seem upset? Yeah, anyone would be upset. It's natural feelings.
I've written something on bassline house for the Guardian music blog. Read it here.
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New Vicecolumn is up. Two of the songs we mention in the chart at the end can be listened to below.
Tampa Tony feat. T-Pain - Ride Out
I've been a closet T-Pain fan for a while now but I found out a litte while back that it's okay to like him. He hasn't pissed on any underage girls and he doesn't sing "Konnnnnvict Muuuuuuzik" in every song, so he gets the thumbs up from me. He also ghost writes for most of the rappers worth bothering about from below the Mason-Dixie line: Lil' Boosie, Webbie, Lil Jon, DG Yola, Lil' Wayne, B.O.B, Trick Daddy.
Seventeen Evergreen - Ensoniq (Bi-Polar Men refix)
A music PR girl I know sent this song to me ages ago insisiting I'd like it, but I never bothered to listen. She's really nice, but I had to endure so much tedious chit chat and fake enthusiasm from PRs calling me up every day when I worked full time in an office that I could never bring myself to trust what any of them thought. Then, recently, I heard Skream and Sinden playing this song that I really liked with a name I half recognised and it turned out to be the one my friend had sent me, thus proving music PRs can be worthwhile (if they are your friends and know what kind of music you are into).
Below is a recent interview I did with Sean Kingston. Read the edited version in Vicehere.
Prancehall:Hey, did you star as Leroy the boxer in Bugsy Malone?You look like him. Sean Kingston: What? No, I didn't star in that. I did acting when I was younger, though. I went to acting school and I enjoyed it a lot.
Oh, okay. So why did you let DJ Khaled anywhere near your album? He's literally insane. He's not insane, he's a good dude. He shows a lot of love to me and has a lot of energy. He's very energetic, know what I mean?
Does he shout all over the song on your album, like he usually does? No, he doesn't shout all over it. Thank God for that. Do you have a girlfriend right now? No, I'm single.
Why haven't you got a girlfriend? I'm focusing on my career, man.
No time for girls? No time for girls, I'm always busy. I mean, I love girls - I have associates, I have friends, but not a girlfriend.
Is it true your executive producer, J.R., hooked up with Britney Spears? Yes. Some of it was true, some of it was a rumour. He did take Britney Spears on a date, but as far as him saying that he had sex with Britney Spears and all that stuff, that was kind of a little…
Was the date before or after she shaved her head? Erm... that was after. Did he introduce you to Britney? Yeah, I met Britney with him at the studio. She's cool, man, she's very shy, she's very quiet. She's kind of funny, you know what I'm saying?
Would you say she's a beautiful girl? Erm... she is, she is. My definition of a beautiful girl is Beyonce, though.
What if Beyonce shaved her head, would you still think she was a beautiful girl? Yeah. She has a nice body. She's not going to shave her head, though.
