Wednesday

The most terrifying music genre the world has ever seen


Colonel Ryszard Kuklinski with Texas A&M cadets

Invented by Ryszard "Crunk King" Kuklinski (the grandson of an infamous Polish Cold War spy of the same name), Crunkczar, which sounds a bit like Polish donk, is a terrifying new genre that makes ravers lose control of their bodies. The drug of choice is a pharmacy technician cocktail of carfentanyl, a downer that's approximately 10,000 times more potent than morphine, and Dexedrine, a powerful amphetamine. (Young fans opt for something slightly less harmful: a mixture of Red Bull and sherbert, referred to as "crunk gunk".)

Some people will break both their arms and continue dancing all night as if nothing has happened. Also, numerous cases have been reported of people dancing so fast that their heart gives in and they drop dead on the dancefloor.

Download: Lil Wayne, "A Milli (Ryszard Kuklinski remix)

At one rave at the end of last year, when the above song was pitched up to +16, three people dropped dead before the track had finished.

Full story over on guardian.co.uk/music.

7 comments:

Bledar Despotovic said...

I was In The Club the other day and heard what sounded like 'Hustlin' by Rick Ross except with a Gabba-esque backing track. I now know what it is. Thanks Prancehall!

BTW, lol @ Barfo's reply on Grauniad website. If he's serious then that's priceless.

Anonymous said...

genius

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Anonymous said...

i figured this was probably the fake genre in your end of year round up...

Kopper said...

the really funny thing is that music like that is actually existing

in germany, not poland

check this out for example

http://schakkerhart.com/headbanga/

Anonymous said...

You're like an 'urban' Charlie Brooker

Petit Flo said...

Is this UK Funky?