Knife Crime Nuggets #7: Free (Swiss army) knives with hooded jackets

By now you'll probably have heard that cheap clobber megastore T.K. Maxx has been selling these (Swiss army) knives with hoodies attached. Or is the other way round? Yeah, I think it is: hoodies with those deadly (Swiss army) knives sewn into the lining. Either way, it's fucking disgraceful. I was so shocked I had to call up Boris Johnson's office to see if I could get the albino labrador lookalike to make some sense of it all. Unfortunately Boris had popped to the shop to get some Jaffa Cakes when I rang, but I managed to speak to his very helpful secretary, Melissa, who was more than willing to answer my questions.

Prancehall: So you can now buy hooded jackets with knives attached?
Melissa: Yeah.

That's pretty fucked up, right?

OK, thanks. Bye.


Anonymous said...

incisive, insightful ... brilliant stuff as usual, sir.

seriously though, it made me chuckle.

katie said...


HSNL said...

Not funny, fuck off

cunt said...

why don't you fuck off? i bet you wanna see my body you faggot. hsnl fucks men.

London School of Da Economics said...

You're all getting detention.

eXTReMe Tracking said...

Can't we all just get along.

tommy lengston said...

lol they did it again;

A retail chain in Britain has withdrawn a walking stick from sale after discovering it had a sword concealed inside.

T.K. Maxx says it was unaware the stick had a 20-inch (50-centimeter) blade inside until a customer found it.

Lengish Maan said...

The sad fallout of all this is that young kids in Pecknarm will never be able to remove stones from horses' hooves or sharpen their pencils the old school way. A nation mourns.