It's a par (it's not really, but I just felt like saying that)

Faction G, Jammer & Mika

I'm just back from Barcelona. It went way too quickly, but it was still a good little trip. Jammer was hilarious from the second I met him at the airport. He was so excited and hyperactive - it was like he'd never been abroad before. On the plane, you would have thought he had Tourettes - he didn't stop speaking the whole way.

About an hour into the journey, he started MCing and wouldn't stop. Everyone on the plane was looking round at him, like: What's up with this guy? He was sat next to Sinden listening to tunes on his laptop, and freestyled along to everything. Oh yeah, he also brought this weird marketing strategy book with him that had a cover reminiscent of a shitty Jackie Collins novel, but was all about how not to throw away your money or something like that. He only read about two pages of it on the plane, though.

Faction was a lot more sensible on the plane. Mika bought some Haribo sweets at the airport, so we ate them on the way to Barcelona.

When Jammer got to the hotel, he attacked the mini bar and drank pretty much the whole thing (champagne, beer, spirits, everything) by himself. Then, he chased up and down the hotel corridor shouting at people. After that, we headed out to get food and Jammer ran into every restaurant we passed roaring at the people inside and then running out again. He also chased after any dog we passed and screamed at it. I remember one moment in particular where he ran after this terrified little chihuahua, while its owner hurled abuse at him. I didn't get any of it on my camera, but we had a film crew with us fliming for VBS, so expect to see the footage very soon. Trust me, it was pure gold. I'm still laughing at the thought of it now. I'm surprised he didn't get arrested. Eventually, we ended up getting some food but Jam was too drunk to eat and spent most of the time trying it on with girls at other tables, who were surrounded by big beefcake Spanish guys.

Later that night, we headed to the club, and Faction and Jammer MCed over my set. After the performance, Jammer left with two girls and then returned an hour later and we did another set. He also tried it on with the barmaid (pictured above) but she didn't really understand English. (Seriously, how can you not love Jammer - NO HOMO). By this point he was totally wasted and had lost his phone. I don't remember seeing him when the club closed, so I've got no idea how he made it back to the hotel. I heard a rumour the next day that he had missed his plane back, so there's a chance he might be missing. Jam, if you're out there, let me know buddy. I've got that CD with all those new tracks of yours that you said not to share, which you left at the club.

The day Jammer and Faction left, Scorcher, Wretch 32 and Logan Sama showed up. Check back tomorrow for a full report on what happened.


You can read an interview I did with Lee 'Scratch' Perry here.

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