With the Sidewinder awards seemingly not going ahead this year, I've decided to hold my own ceremony: THE SHOWERFACE AWARDS.

You guys have been voting all year in my polls and I've added some extra topics, so here are the results:


Who has got the best dreadlocks?

Flow Dan
Big H

Jammer. Congrats to everyone for not voting for Flow Dan, who doesn't actually have dreadlocks.

Who is the best?


Plasticman. Goes without saying.

What is your favourite track that rips off Wonder - 'What'?

Wonder - 'What'
Wiley - 'Morgue'
J Sweet - 'Kerb'

Wonder - 'What'. This track is such a rip off that it's actually got the exact same title, is by the exact same producer and is in fact the exact same track.

Who has best yardie flow?

Durrty Goodz
Gods Gift
Flow Dan
Lady Sovereign

*WINNER: Riko. Hold tight Lady Sov who finished a close second.

Who is your favourite Bossman?

DJ Bossman (Essentials)
MC Bossman (Meridian Crew)
MC Bossman (Younger Nasty Crew)

*WINNER: DJ Bossman (Essentials). Quite literally the biggest Bossman

Biggest reload of the year

Jammer 'Murkle Man' Lyrics @ Sidewinder
Jammer 'Murkle Man' Lyrics @ FWD Birthday Bash
Jammer 'Murkle Man' Lyrics @ Run the Road, Fabric
Jammer 'Murkle Man' Lyrics @ Vice Pub
Jammer 'Murkle Man' Lyrics in his car

(please note: each reload was carried out by Jammer himself)

Jammer 'Murkle Man' Lyrics @ Run the Road, Fabric. It had to be. Jammer spent more time reloading records than MCing that night.

Best Cameo in a grime video

Logan Sama - 'Murkle Man'
Westwood - 'Shake a Leg'
The wasteman swigging a can of newkie brown - 'Ave Some of Dat'

The wasteman swigging a can of newkie brown - 'Ave Some of Dat'. Probably the best acting I've seen in a grime video all year. The guy looked like he was actually a wasteman. Wasteman.

Biggest HMP MC

Bossman (Meridian)
Dan (Meridian)
Pit (Slew Dem)

Bossman. Hold tight Bossman, 2006. STAND UP! BANG YOUR DOOR!

Who has got the best shower face?

Crazy Titch
Flow Dan
Dizzee Rascal

*WINNER: Skepta. Jammer was robbed in my opinion.


Could all winners please email with your addresses if you'd like to receive a customised Shower Curtain/Cape.


terrorhythm said...

Can i get a custom shower curtain please?

Anonymous said...

No No No...
Either Gods Gift, Doctor or even Shizzle were robbed of the best yardie flow award...

Gods Gift needs a shower cap, give Doctor a shower hose and Shizzle the shower curtain, just give Riko a shower, and make sure YOU wash behind his balls, serious!

Anonymous said...

and as a special announcement we should all give mpc the golden shower award for excellence in his field

Anonymous said...

is that what all this shower stuff is about? golden showers? grime is embracing the r kelly method of urination, dispensing with the urinal altogether and just going for it in some willing girl's mouth? rahhhh that is kinda nasty man, i cant believe it, no wonder girls need to wear their showercap, they must be worried of the pee messing up their hair, thats clever though, they are thinking ahead. no wonder the showerface is so blissful, its about pissing on a girls face, grime artists must be pretty sadistic bastards, not to mention lazy, im sure they all have bathrooms

Anonymous said...

lol, golden shower award!!!
shower cap!!!
the showerness cant done. you lot are straight jokers.
but i agree, grime artists are getting nasty with the r-kelly bizness, cant you see that Riko dun got 'wet' in his face already.

Anonymous said...

this must be why riko is going back to doing jungle raves, he isnt with the golden shower program in grime. is this why grime is so samey and water-treading at the moment, cos grime persons have better stuff to do than work on music, they would rather piss on a girls face? i knew r kelly was influential but i dont think ive seen his video tape down any of the markets in east london as of late. grime mcs dont travel out of e3 though do they - maybe they are all at home watching the video making the showerface

Anonymous said...

A full custom shower curtain?! Just for being better than Plastikman?!!!

Anonymous said...

"Piss" myself laughing!!!

Mikee Silk said...

BRAAAPP big up the shower face awards star

ima try an be in there nex year