Knife Crime Nuggets #8 / Dear Dr P-Hall

Dear Dr P-Hall,
I don't know if you've heard but Boris is now looking to geeky Jewish youth movements to tackle the problem of knife crime. Imagine little Hampstead Garden Suburb kids going to inner city schools to talk to kids about putting away their knives. Should be interesting.
JESSICA

Knife Crime Nuggets #7: Free (Swiss army) knives with hooded jackets

By now you'll probably have heard that cheap clobber megastore T.K. Maxx has been selling these (Swiss army) knives with hoodies attached. Or is the other way round? Yeah, I think it is: hoodies with those deadly (Swiss army) knives sewn into the lining. Either way, it's fucking disgraceful. I was so shocked I had to call up Boris Johnson's office to see if I could get the albino labrador lookalike to make some sense of it all. Unfortunately Boris had popped to the shop to get some Jaffa Cakes when I rang, but I managed to speak to his very helpful secretary, Melissa, who was more than willing to answer my questions.

Prancehall: So you can now buy hooded jackets with knives attached?
Melissa: Yeah.

That's pretty fucked up, right?
Yeah.

OK, thanks. Bye.