Stratford Rex: The dick inspector

I didn't get any pictures or videos from the Mavado show last night. Pretty annoying. The whole thing was filmed anyway so maybe I'll get the DVD. When I got to The Rex around 10, the police had already shut off two lanes of traffic outside the club and lined up at least eight police cars and vans along the road. They also had police dogs and guys with M16s. Pretty insane for an event where there wasn't a hint of trouble all night. Total over reaction in my opinion. On the way in they were taking no chances: I got the metal detector and full search and then I was ordered to go and see a woman in the corner. I had no idea what was going on so I walked up and stood next her and without saying a word she put her hand between my legs and cupped my piece before nodding to the other bouncers that I was allowed in. I think that was her job all night: dick inspector. She checks to see if you're packing a big enough piece and if not she sends you out to be gunned down by the police. There were no shootings last night, thankfully.

Inside I saw Chipmunk, Badness and Logan Sama in a full suit with a red tie and overcoat. I told him he needed to wear a white suit next time to fit in. He didn't seem so keen. I saw some pretty amazing fashion in there. There was a guy who looked like a fat Benga who had Air Force Ones covered in gold sequins and he was the most under dressed person there. He performed later on but I had no idea who he was. He did some bars over "Baddis Ting" rhythm and got a pretty massive reaction. Mad Cobra didn't show but there were lots of random Channel U types performing a song each for a half an hour segment. There was even one girl with some cheerleader-esque dancers performing with her. She wasn't so good.

I won't bother to say too much about Mavado. Some people who like dancehall genuinely don't seem to like him. For me, his album is the best album of the year in any genre. No question. He performed most of the songs off Gangster For Life with a full band. The crowd knew every word. I wasn't standing in the best spot but I enjoyed it. It was nice to see a crowd of 1,000 people all having fun at a night they've paid 40 quid for. I don't get that all the time at nights I go to where people have paid a fiver.

It seems like I am the last person in the world to know that Jammer has an album deal with Big Dada. Why did no one tell me? I'm upset. It's like people didn't want me to know or something. That's not nice. Anyway, I think he'll do well. Jammer's obviously not the best MC in the world but he can make good songs and he's funny and has a bit of charisma. It was a big fuck up that "Murkle Man" never got a proper release. It had a great video already made and could have been as big as "Pow".


After A Breath of Fresh Ears and Lend Me Your Ears I've come up with an idea for the name of Ears' next project: Play It By Ears. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. "Play it by Ears." Get it? It's like "Play it by ear", but slightly different. Play It By Ears.


Saw a rather interesting article in The Voice called, "Is rap turning our girls into ho's?" There are some pretty choice quotes in there. It's an excrutiating read so if you can't be bothered to go through the whole thing, I think the gist of it is that hip-hop videos are making black girls become promiscuous and do drugs and the main consumers of hip-hop are "young, affluent, white men" so that is who we should blame.


Anonymous said...

the police had MP5's, not M-16.

Tom said...

i didn't know that about jammer, but my mate said he played at big dada's birthday party instead of wiley, so it makes sense.

40 quid?

irish said...

here in manc they've used metal detectors, full-body turnstiles and bullet-proof pay booths with tints at dances... mans still gettin lit up! maybe a little fondles the way forward (NO HOMO) - seriously though the police / council have pretty much banned big dancehall shows happening in m/cr, its shit...

Jack said...

for the next Ears mixtape, how about 'Ears and Graces'?

fucking omfg im hyperventilating that's so fucking funny

peace out.

Anonymous said...

i dont see whats so bad about that voice article - some of it is a bit OTT and generalising and the usual 'hip hop is bad' bollocks but it does raise some important points. it does seem like a lot of (white) journos like you covering the music dont want to ever entertain that all this bait hip hop that you like so much might be selling one dimensional black stereotypes to people... you could at least think about it instead of dismissing it outright.


you're right - it does raise a few important points. i just think it tries to point the finger at loads of people rather than addressing the problem and looking for a solution.

bringing race into it (like you are doing) seems unnecessary to me. tell me how the following quote is relevant in an article about rap videos: "parents need to tell black kids that they are wonderful and beautiful and give black dolls for their children to play with rather than blonde, blue-eye muppets."

also, do you honestly think rap videos are made with a target audience of white journalists?

Anonymous said...

rap is all about race, its hard not to ignore that factor. hard as you and other white journos might try to avoid it. i agree that quote is a bit outta nowhere, the doll thing though, im guessing
the point is just that the representation in a lot of vids is a bit one sided, all about lighter skinned black girls, not anyone darker, who doesnt subscribe to non euro standards of beauty, so it doesnt help having some white dollies to play with. this is all fucking cliche of course, but its true.

i dont care who rap vids are made with a target audience of, but to act like theyre not thinking of white kids in the burbs would be a bit disingenuous. i dunno if thats the ONLY audience theyre thinking of but it is an important one.


i'm not taking responsibility for girls in hip-hop videos having no morals. that's what i'm saying. i apologise for being white and liking hip-hop but i refuse to take any blame for the content of hip-hop videos.

instead of talking about barbie dolls, the voice would have done well to speak to the mum of the pole dancer they interviewed and ask why she had brought her daughter up to have such low moral standards.