Christmas comes but once a year

It's hopefully going to be a great Christmas for me if my list made it to Santa. I'm gonna be looking "choong", as they say, at church tomorrow morning.

Here's what I'll hopefully be unwrapping.



New "kicks".



"Ripper" was put down at the dog home after he tore someone's arm off, so instead I'm hopefully going to get this one instead:



Here's little "Nipper" in his cage. He's got the protective head cone on to stop him hurting himself.



This one is exactly like the one I saw Skepta wearing. I bet if I go to Sidewinder, I'll be able to get straight onto the stage cos everyone will think that I'm Skepta – they won't be able to tell the difference!



Every man and his dog has got a New Era, but how many people do you see with a New Era visor? Exactly! I think I'm gonna start a trend. Look out for all the kids wearing these next year.



You're a wasteman if you don't have rosary beads around your neck. Helps complete the look. 'Ang tight God.



I'm going be dressing up in full Murkle Man costume and driving this up and down my hallway.

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Boomkat have just released their end of year lists and they've forgotten to ask me AGAIN.

I'm not offended or anything. I'm just saying.

Maybe next year they should ask me instead of Sway, who included James Blunt in his end of year chart.