Hate is a Strong Word / Love is a Beautiful Thing

DJ NG. Photo by James Pearson-Howes

If anyone is interested, you can read my article on funky in last week's NME here. I have taken the liberty of writing my own headline this time to save any other 40-year-old silk shirt-wearing funky house DJs out there from having a hernia. To be clear, I will say again: I did not write the original headline. BTW, I have put up a lenghty interview with NG in my Fader column this week.



I've also got something in this week's NME on footworkin', jumpstyle, Tecktonik, etc. Look out for it. At the end, I talk about all the weird guys out there who make videos of their Lego men doing the jumpstyle, which you can see an example of above. Also check this slightly blurry video for more hot jumpstyle Lego club action.

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Not much time to update these days, but keep checking my two new blogs: Hate is a Strong Word and Love is a Beautiful Thing. I have decided to make myself the CEO of both of them.

YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME

WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FU-UCK? WHAT THE FU-UHH-UCKKKKKK?

This has to be a joke. Who else plays their remixes apart from them?

Seriously, what are they gonna do to it? Add a few seconds of silence to the start and call it a remix? Maybe convert it to a 128kbps mp3 and cover it in drops from other people's mixtapes so it will match everything else they play out?

I've gone off the song now. This is a very sad day for music.

Self-fulfilling prophecy?

I was scanning dubplate.net just now when I noticed something very disturbing. Tempa are releasing a 12" by conscious drum & bass MC SP:MC. I remember when dubstep was pretty new and people were calling it slowed-down drum & bass, and now that is just what (most of) it has become. There's no denying it. They are even letting sub standard d&b MCs produce on their supposed 'gold standard' label at the drop of a camouflage baseball cap just because they are big in the d&b scene. SP:MC is the white GQ. It wouldn't be too bad if they were amazing tunes, but they are totally inane, anonymous "wobblers". Listen to clips here and here.

I've been listening to "Stung" by Kode 9, my Martyn 12" and that new Appleblim and Peverelist 12" on Skull Disco on repeat for the last hour to try and block out the pain. (BTW, thanks to whoever sent me those Skull Disco 12"s recently. I lose faith in dubstep quite a lot but it's good to be reminded there is still good stuff out there).

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In other good news, Grooverider has been jailed for four years for carrying 2.16g of weed into Dubai. The real story here is the amount. He blatantly was sold the 2.16g as an eighth (an eighth = 3.5g). He should be more pissed off about the fact that his dealer would rip him off so badly, than the minor inconvenience of having to spend four years without Fabio.

Clarence & Quentin

When I first saw the lineup for this I was a bit confused. It looked like someone had stolen the name I used to use in my Grimewatch column days, Clarence. I was offended that Dirty Canvas would have the audacity to support someone who would commit such a cunning, heinous crime. I told myself that me and DC were FINISHED. But then I realised it was actually me on the flyer. I forgot that I'd agreed to do a reggae set with my friend James under a new alias. I think I might start using Clarence more often - I might as well embrace my imaginary public school roots. FYI, I will be dressing in some smart chinos, boat shoes, a gingham shirt, a cravat and a cable knit sweater slung across my shoulders for the night.


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Some things by me out this week that you can read: A DJ NG interview in Vice, a Buraka Som Sistema feature in The FADER (issue 52), a piece on funky in NME, my regular Vice column, my new weekly column for Thefader.com and something on 4/4 "urban" music for the Guardian blog (I won't bother to put a link because I know no one will leave any comments). Oh, and I've started two new blogs with some friends. They are still looking a bit rough but if anyone cares, there are links in the sidebar.

Spotted

Alex Sturrock spotted Skepta outside the (good) bagel shop on Brick Lane today. He was apparently on his way to Roll Deep's studio to do some new tracks with them. I swear someone needs to do a grime documentary in the bagel shop. Or maybe Dubplate Drama could dedicate a whole episode to it in their next series (if there is another series). There could be a story line about one of the old women in the shop bootlegging mix CDs or something. Just a suggestion.

Crossed the line and you crossed the border

Photo by Alex Sturrock

My friend Alex just developed an old roll of film he took when Riko played 93 Feet East in late 2005 and found the above pic. I think I remember this incident. A group of guys bumped into Riko (or maybe his car) on the way into the club and instead of apologising, they starting having a go at him. Anyway, Riko went insane and was shouting at about 20 people at the same time. I think things cooled down when he went up to one of the guys and said something like, "If I take you down that alley way over there you will never walk again." Fun times.


Photo by James Pearson-Howes

In other news, my friend James tells me that the Niche night club has secretly been opened up again under the guise of a shop near Columbia Road Market. He said as he walked past they were playing Adele, presumably to throw the police off the scent. I'm guessing the bassline starts after hours.

Dexplicit in NYC

Dutty Artz TV got some footage when Dexplicit played in NY at Trouble & Bass and also filmed a short interview with him. Check the Dutty Artz blog for more good stuff and their MySpace page to listen to some of their forthcoming releases.

Best MySpace scam I've seen in the past hour

MC Jordan D sending a clear message to the people who think they can be in his video without paying

I was sent the following on MySpace by a guy called Jordan D:

"Hi, I have recently recorded a track which features big artists on it such as Mr Wong, Stormin, Lightning, Nasty Jack, Top Kat, Fader and more. I am doing a video shoot for it in about 2 weeks. It's a 1.5 thousand pound shoot and it's defently going on Chan U. I'm letting people stand in da video and get their face seen on TV for 50 quid, as well as meet tha big artists, and other big artists such as DJ Ironik and Nasty Crew and Ghetto will be at da shoot. If ya interested or if ya know anyone who is, holla back.
PS. If u want to hear the trak for the video ask for ma MSN and i'll send ya it."

50 quid to get the chance to be an extra in his video? Where do I sign up??

The great circle of theft

Check out the difference in Photek's accent between this video above, which was made in St Albans in 1996 and the one below. I like the artwork guy's little wave on the sofa. The whole thing is like a spoof of someone interviewing a drum and bass producer.



This was made in LA last year. He's lost the mockney accent completely. Dropped it like a bag of sand. Off like a dirty shirt. Maybe he needed the fake accent back then or DJ Hype wouldn't speak to him. I guess a similar thing will happen to all these pork pie hat-wearing public school guys in really terrible east London indie bands in 15 years. There is only so long you can keep up the pretense.



For further entertainment, have a look at these guys called Source Direct. They look like the worst people in the world. Nice rims, though.



Also, while I'm here, watch this video. I don't want to spoil the end but two extras in the video inexplicably start fighting. Oops, I think I spoilt it.

I'm my own boss

New Lethal B video. He's back on form. Still got the shades on, though. More blurb in my weekly column over on The FADER's website. Also grab that Slinga song from my mixtape there too.



Amazing Bok Bok & Manara bassline mix for Mad Decent here.

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I'm DJing at this night at The Rainbow in Birmingham tomorrow. Come.

The single most harrowing thing I have ever seen (this week)

The start of this looks like a Grange Hill audition tape gone wrong. Pretty dark side. Although there are some big bars at the end.

WARNING: ***white*** people talking about ***black*** music

News just in from one of my many, many worldwide correspondents. DJ Bumdance Mumdance (you know I'm only joking, Jack) has just come back from Austria where he was DJing with Boy Better Know at some kind of festival and he has some videos and stories and stuff to share:



This video was taken backstage at the Vice party in Austria, after they played. It was just after BBK got interviewed for MTV, but for some reason Skepta drew the short straw and was was asked to hold the camera light while JME & Maximum were interviewed. The crowd were loving the grime, a lot of them were throwing really, really stupid gang signs and saying "blap!" with thick European accents. BBK kept saying, "We're gonna do some tricks now" at any opportunity in a quiet environment, such as the plane taking off. It didn't have ay real meaning, I think they got it off a random YouTube video.

I heard a preview of JME's album, which is just about to go to press. It's massive, maybe crossover potential. He sings on a few of the tracks too. People will be surprised.

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Jack has done a remix of Santogold's "Creator" featuring Jammer, Badness, Chronik, Rage, Slickman and Tempa T, which you can find on Diplo's new mixtape. Also, he has a night this Friday at the Old Blue Last.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Night" remix by L-Vis 1990. This video is heavy, man. Loving the "vibe". You can almost meditate on its heaviness. Your chest, L-Vis. Your chest.



I've found the new "It's just me on the road, it's just me on the pavement" guy. But this dude is a million times worse.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

Devlin sounds like someone with Tourette's syndrome having a trembling fit while trying to MC as fast as is humanly possible. He's not even on beat, he's just trying to say as many words as he can. What happened? I guess he's been hanging out with Ghetto too much.

WOAH

My friend randomly sent me this today because it's someone he went to school with. At first I didn't pay attention to the name but then I looked more closely and noticed, isn't this the guy that Crazy Titch killed?

Sheets are overly warm

Photo by Jamie-James Medina



MP3: Wiley - Wearing My Rolex (produced by Bless Beats)

I think this is my favourite song right now. I'm pretty sure it is.



When the fuck are Newham Generals going to release something? Right now I'd be satisfied with a spoken word album from D Double. Maybe just him reading some nursery rhymes with the sound of the wind gently blowing in the background.