Right about now Roachee's in jail on road

OMG!! My home-made 'FREE ROACHEE' T-shirt has obviously worked cos I've heard Roach is back on road. He's out on bail for a month and working on his mixtape before his case goes to trial. If I was in Roll Deep, I'd mostly hang out with Roachee and probably Flow Dan too. I think we'd be close like family. Maybe.

One more thing:
DJ Lioness' Rinse FM show is gone. Can someone sort it out so she's back on soon? I tried to tune in to her show recently and some wasteman house DJ was playing instead. Not good.

Ps coming in from left, right and centre / I've got bookings from now 'til next winter

I just came across this clip on my hard drive of Scorcher showering (honestly, no pun intended). He needs to vocal Low Deep's 'Jedi' with those same bars and that's a hit right there (maybe). I see his 'chance us' track has been signed to Logan's label.



The beat on JME'S 'Don't Chat To Me' track is amazing. I remember when I first heard it on some random Roll Deep set recording and had to rewind it about 7 times on Windows Media Player. You can hear the full vocal on the new Logan show.

My favourite bit of Logan's show this week is when Logan randomly cuts the music about 45 minutes in and says "Stop typing whilst I'm talking Christopher". Random.



There are a lot of 'special' people out there and it's always quite touching when one reaches out and tries to speak to you. Check out some bars for me in my comments box:

"An internet gangsta, somethin we all wana be,
Already lookin shook, my mouth against the M-I-C.
You find it hard to articulate, until you dun ejaculate,
Screamin Hattie's name, it seems alone you play this game.

I admit that I'm new to MC banter,
A cunt, like a hunter, I'm lookin for the fronta,
Seems before I let you have it, you dun run for cover,
Moving to the next best thing, the child bearer, your mother.

Your hand that rocks the cradle,
looks dumfounded, unsteady, uncapable,
your girl 3 years, a fable,
a story you tell your stable.

So Mr. Prancehall, guild to the pricks/(slash)those that like dancehall, a combination inherently linked to low IQ,
your basic lyrical ability is tasteless, n like your face, shrouded be ugliness.

Your basis for taste is embarressing, your words, your rhymes, harrassing,
slewin those at RWD mag, I'd like to see what other genius you can pull out of your goodie bag.

Opinions, reviews, pretense is immense,
If I were to try a rhyme like yours, it wouldn't hold suspense. That's where I'll it for now, until the next time, big tings be gwan, until the next rhyme".

I have to say this is one of the funiest, most amazing things I have every read. I just love the awkward grammar - it's as if this guy was writing the bars in Middle English or something. If grime existed 700 years ago, this is what the bars would've been like. I'm telling you, this guy is the next Shakespeare. More bars please!



If the above wasn't enough excitement for one week, I also got another great comment the other day:

"Say da name Prancehall to any Taliban supporting 11 ta 56 yr from da bangladeshi community (eh don't fuck wid da Shadwell massive)in Tower hamlets an they'll show you where prancer lives, get mi, no longo tingo...

i met him twice at One man Standing (he woz doing a set wid Mac 10) an den at Sugar n Spice in Hackney. I shared my calaloo an ockra wid him in exchange for an old bounty killah track an a dusty copy of Vice.

Prancer kinda looks like a squashed, albino Shabba Ranx or Godsgift wid flu.. get mi.. propa like innocent, an cute as a button.

I swear on my stepmums life i'm not making dis up. May God strike her dead if i'm lying!"

I thought I'd been keeping myself on the DL but obviously some people have been watching face cos that description is me down to a T. If I had a pound for every time someone said I looked like an Albino Shabba Ranks, I'd be a very rich guy by now.

One final thing:

When I joked a little while back about Skepta not putting me in his Top 8 on myspace, little did I know that he was out there taking note. Now I'm not saying we're best friends or anything, I'm just saying...

When I say selenki people get mad

I'm back. No. 1 grime groupie in the game. Did I tell you about that time I spoke to some MC? He completely ignored me, but yeah, it was deep.


Flamin on the bus with his dog

Anyway, my little set with Ears at the OBL on Friday was pretty good. Flamin and Ears' friend who is a pilot (?) came too. When I arrived, the room was looking empty, but Ears luckily had his shower cap on and within minutes the place was full and he had the whole crowd going. I GUARANTEE Ears is gonna have a record deal by the end of the year - he's an amazing performer. I haven't practiced in months, so I'm blaming that, as well as the decks, the speakers, George Bush, Third World Debt etc. for me not being the best thing in the world ever. I was sweating like a paedo in a nursery - I really need to sort my life out. I think I'm coming down with something.



After that I headed to Straight Outta Bethnal. I saw more fights that night than I've seen all year (probably). On the way, I saw a guy dressed in a spandex superman costume getting beaten up. I was like: "HELLO!!!???!!!! I REALISE YOU'RE FIGHTING ABOUT SIX OTHER GUYS, BUT AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE SUPERMAN???" Wasteman.

When I arrived at the 333, it was absolutely rammed downstairs. Ghetto, Scorcher, Demon, Lightning and loads of others were on stage. Apparently Devlin was there earlier, but I missed him. Ghetto was going crazy and got the crowd going a little, but sometimes he needs to spit more clearly. Scorcher was the highlight for me maybe. He's got loads of bars and is improving every time I see him. This was probably the best grime night of the year, but I'd be lying if I said I had a more than average time. The atmosphere was pretty weird. There was hardly any reaction from the crowd for most of the night. There seemed to be a bit of tension in the crowd, but nothing really happened.

Later, Wiley, Tinchy, Skepta, JME and God's Gift all turned up sporting "Boy Better Know" T-shirts. I really want one, so I might just make my own or something and stand in the crowd wearing it like a weirdo at the next night. Footsie, Syer B, D Double, Dimples and loads of others were around too. Skepta is a few levels above every other grime MC right now. He's got the clearest voice, the catchiest lyrics, the best stage presence, the furry hat...everything.

The lowlight was some guy getting on stage and punching Fuda Guy in the boat-y. It was over Fuda splashing a tiny bit of water on some guy and then the guy went crazy and got about 6 of his friends to jump on stage. Actually, it wasn't all bad because half of the people downstairs shit their pants when they saw fists flying and ran for the door, leaving a lot more room - it was too packed anyway. They need more security downstairs - if anything did kick off, the two security guys wouldn't have been able to do anything, but luckily it cooled down within about a minute.

I left when Skepta, Wiley etc. finished, leaving the usual suspects who turn up to EVERY Straight Outta Bethnal to spit their ancient bars. I was gonna go and thank Chantelle for letting me in for free (first time I've ever got into a grime night free I think) and for hooking it up so some people who came along to my little night got a discount to the 333 afterwards, but I didn't see her inside and then when I tried to speak to her outside, she gave me air pie. Well, not air pie, but I tried to say hi and she turned around and spoke to someone else and then walked off. Oh well.

One more thing: I saw some kind of Christian grime crew spitting outside the McDonalds on Seven Sisters Road today. Maybe they could play at the next 333 event - guaranteed to be no trouble. That's my tip for next year - Christian Grime.

----------

Don't forget: Wiley and DJ Maximum at 93 Feet East tonight.

Won't bring a strap if the beef is petty

Biggest news to report in grime this week year is that Skepta has joined myspace. Naturally he's added me, although he's somehow forgotten to put me in his top 8. He tried to private message me through myspace too, but obviously I didn't read it cos private messagers get B.U.N. Not really.

I ended up going to the grindie party last night. Had a really good time. I noticed Knuckles has also got a high top fade. Trust me, that is the look right now. I might even get one.

I had a chat with Scorcher and Ears who were there MCing on Statik's set. D Dark also performed and was really great. Someone introduced me to Hattie Collins, which, to be honest was not something I had planned on, since I like to keep myself on the DL, but she was really friendly and didn't even try to slap me, so it was fine. Miquita from Popworld was also around in the crowd too. I tried to hook Scorcher up with her later on but I don't think she was interested. To be honest, I think she secretly had a thing for me. Even though she kept ignoring me when I tried to make conversation and she literally ran across the road to her wasteman boyfriend when I tried to talk to her outside, I could tell there was some kind of chemistry. Someone told me that she pressed Kano a while back and she gave her digits to Lethal B in a club once (PRANCEHALL EXCLUSIVE), although I don't think I was supposed to tell anyone.

When the grindie thing was over, I headed to Cargo to see tha Bizzle, but we couldn't blag our way in for free, so we left. I did meet Ghetto outside though - who was shorter than I expected.



It's another busy weekend for prancehall.

First, I'm DJing on Friday at the Old Blue Last. Ears is gonna MC on my set and maybe Scorcher too. After that, I'm heading to the 333 to see Tinchy, Scorch, Ghetto etc. People who go to the O.B.L. first get half price entry to 333 or something.



If that isn't enough, Wiley is performing at wwwhut!? at 93 Feet East on Saturday with DJ Maximum.

Flick out the ting like Luke Skywalker

I was supposed to be playing at this but I had to pull out because, like JME, I go to uni so I have to study for an exam the next morning. Gutted.

They're giving away copies of the Grindie mixtape, so if you haven't got it, you know what to do.

Let me see your body sweat

The David Banner / Radioclit party on Friday was really good - the best night I've been to in a few years maybe. After my pretty boring set, the night really picked up. Sinden, the guy after me, played an amazing mix of dancehall re-edits; a bit of hyphy; a bit of snap and loads of other stuff. Radioclit then kept the crowd going until Banner arrived.



Banner really knows how to work a crowd (grime kids who were there, please take note). He was stage diving; spraying the crowd in champagne; throwing out CDs; throwing out T-shirts (I grabbed a white one, although I still can't seem to get the stains out of it - can anyone recommend me something?); jumping off stage to rap in the audience; just doing stuff to get the crowd going. After Banner came Jammer, Skepta, Chronik and Tempa T. If you wanna see some short video phone movies of the grime guys, click here for Jammer and here for Tempa T.

More pics etc. at the VICE site.

It's hard out here for a blogger

Fuck Three 6 Mafia winning an oscar (check out the footage here - almost brought a tear to my japs eye), and tell Skepta (Mr 'I wanna win a MOBO, then go for the Oscars') to get in the queue cos I definitely deserve to get some kind of blogging Oscar.

Check out what the Observer Music Monthly have to say about me:

"A random perusal of music blogs might give you the impression that
they are either written by a bunch of anorak-wearing dudes with sweaty
handshakes (who spend an unhealthy amount of time fingering record
sleeves) or else by unsufferably smug and pretentious wanna-be music
hacks. And for the most part you'd be right! So thank goodness for
people like Prancehall, the anonymous and irreverent grime blogger. He
doesn't so much take the pulse of the grime nation as give it a happy
slap to make it sure it doesn't take itself so seriously. And that's the
way it should be."

Deep.



I've been put on suicide watch following the news of Essentials splitting up. The news just came so suddenly and out of the blue. It's a hard thing for a sensitive guy like me to take. I'm just not sure I'll ever get over the heartache.

MP3: Lil' Wayne: I Miss My Dawgs

(As an aside: I did a google image search for "hot boys" - for obvious reasons {Lil' Wayne was in Hot Boys...yeah?}, without having Safe-search or whatever switched on and let's just say the results weren't what I was expecting...)

Jesus Christ had dreads, so shake 'em

Catch Tiny Prancer, David Banner, Radioclit, Jammer and Ears playing upstairs at the Old Blue Last tomorrow night.

But I refuse to live behind bars / So I refuse to choose to nick cars

First off: New Fire Camp Video - check out Fumin's bars.

Also, check out the first Bollywood grime movie: Bombayhood



Jammer was on the Breezeblock show a little while back.
Go here if you want to download it.

--Murkle Man Takeover Tracklist--
Jammer - 'Murkle Man' (Jahmek The World)
Neckle Camp and Jammer - 'We Ain't Got Time' (Jahmek The World)
Neckle Camp and Skepta - 'Flow Like We' (Jahmek The World)
Newham Generals - 'Newham Generals Anthem' (Dirtee Stank)
Newham Generals - 'Scars' (Dirtee Stank)
Newham Generals - 'Humpty Dumpty' (Dirtee Stank)
Slew Dem and Waifa - 'Never Fade Away' (Slew Dem)
Jammer - 'Hype Ting' (Jahmek The World)
Young Gunz and Jammer - 'Street Fighter' (Slew Dem)
Young Gunz - 'Ride With Us' (Young Gunz)
Footsy, Wiley, Dee and Money - 'Scars' (Dirtee Stank)
Neckle Camp and Jammer - 'Wot You On' (Jahmek The World)
Jammer - 'Murkle Man' (Jahmek The World)
Dee Double - 'Jack The Skipper' (Dirtee Stank)

Download Fuck Radio Under 18s Vol. 1 here - featuring Lightning, Devlin, Y. Wizz, Soldier Kid, Griminal and Hasty.

I slang in my white tee / I bang in my white tee / All in the club spittin game in my white tee

So, now that Roll Deep's slot on Rinse is free, I thought I'd throw in my pitch for their show. I think I'd like to do a talk show: no music, just talk. I'd do grime gossip and also people could call in and talk shit - Trisha stylee. You could call with your problems and I'd sort them out. If your baby mummy won't let you see little Eric or if you don't know which colour to get your new Air Force Ones in, I'd give you advice. I could maybe play accapellas too, but no music, just talking. Geeneus, if you're out there, get in touch.



Did anyone hear me getting a mention on Faction G's freestyle on Logan's show this week? You can also hear the freestyle on his myspace page, so go and check that out now (it's the Wiley track on there). I'm telling you, I'm gonna be getting more props on tracks than anyone this year (maybe) - That's a Prancehall promise. (That's my new catchphrase).



Statik's Grindie mixtape is amazing. The best mixtape from the grime scene ever I'd say. I was expecting it all to be like the swag grime version of Tinchy's 'Uptown Girl', but the whole mixtape is massive. You can get it free from Pure Groove, Phonica, Rough Trade, Uptown and Rhythm Division and maybe some other places.