I don't have olders, never had youngers

I haven't seen this yet, but I've heard it's like a film version of Dubplate Drama. I fucking hope that's not true.

Anyway, if you want a CD copy of the film soundtrack featuring Dizzee, Wiley etc. and some swag UKHH, email me here.

When I come to your bits with Ross and Jermaine / I'll bring war to your block like it's the twin towers and I'm the hijackers that got on the plane

OMG just got this excloose in my inbox. Brand new exclusive Roll Deep track from their up and coming mixtape 'Rules & Regulations'. Pass me the Radox cos this one is shower.

MP3: Roll Deep - Bad Guys

I'm tryna get a little mixtape sellin' / Help my little sis with spellin' / Sell class A for the day, pray cats ain't tellin'

So, Roll Deep have been kicked off Rinse FM. Maybe something to do with Chronik bringing a shotgun to the studio a while back. According to management, it was because of Roll Deep having "unauthorized people up the station on the mic". It's a shame really because I liked all of those shows where Slew Dem and Scorcher etc turned up.



One guy I'm backing right now is Faction G. Wiley thinks he is "over good" and I agree. Look out for his vocal on Mr Slash's new EP out now. He's hitting Logan up with a big new freestyle every week until his new mixtape is out, so look out for those too.

My Roll Deep mixtape competition is still going. I thought the question was easy but I'm getting quite a few wrong answers. DJ Wonder in Roll Deep - are you fucking dumb inna ur head piece!?

Poomplex

I dunno has anyone else seen this story about kids in East London raising farmyard animals. Apparently you're just any guy if you haven't got a pig or something in your garden. Read the full story here



Even though I've got a couple of guys smearing their knickers about me giving away free stuff, I'm gonna keep doing it. If someone approaches me to give CDs away on my blog, why would I say no? The guys who won the last comps will be contacted today.



I've been given a signed copy of Roll Deep's Grimey Vol 1 mixtape. If anyone wants it, email me the name of one of Roll Deep's DJs along with your name and address.

Rudeboy I ain't lost it, I've found it / Year to year, I was around it

I've been side-tracked.

I've got two competitions going. These may well be the last thing you ever see here.

1st competition:

If you live in America and wanna win a copy of the Run The Road 2 compilation, then email me here. You don't need to answer any questions, just send me your name and address and I will randomly choose someone.

(If you do not want to receive news etc. from Vice Records, then please state this in your email).

2nd competition:

If you want a copy of the SLIT JOCKEY mixtape, email me here. Aaron from Slit Jockey has hooked me up with three copies - just email me your details and I'll choose some people.

One last thing - fuck Time Out magazine. I wrote to them suggesting a story a couple of months back and now I see they've run the story but with some other wasteman writing the article.

When Bushkin and Mighty used to merk it / When I used to beat my cousin at Street Fighter: Perfect

Hattie's had the whole RWD office hard at work all day and all they could come up with is this:

I admit it, your last lyric was really quite nice,
But mate, I'm Slim Shady, you're just Obie Trice,
You're Banks to my 50, Faith to my Mary,
So lets stop this now, cos you're getting pure air-y,

And late? Well, lets see,
Since back in '03, I've written about Kane and Dizzee and DEE,
Prancehall I'm bored, I've over this clash,
I think what you need, is to go get some gash,

Cuz, what's the problem? Do you want to kiss me?
Do you say the word 'Hattie' and have a sex wee?
The only time you get girl is when you beg on your knees,
And it's no surprise, cos you've got bare STDs,

You can't show your face, cos it makes the girls heave,
And I heard your balls be sweaty and your dick stinks of cheese,
You have anal-seepage? Kid, try a butt-plug,
But no matter what you do, you'll still be a mug,

Come on now Prancey, tell us your name.
What is it? Clarence? Derek? Or Wayne?
Oh sorry, dear Prancey, But it looks like I've won,
I'm just So, So Solid, but you're Romeo Dunn.

WOW. I was expecting her bars to be kinda swag, but those just take the piss. She's merked herself. Check the RWD forum for the war report.

I don't even need to write anymore bars to merk her (but I still will anyway).

Check your own boat if you wanna talk about acne.
If I've got beef, Chronik's gonna back me.
You can bring the whole of RWD but you still can't smack me.
You're straight outta Hampshire, I'm straight outta Hackney.

When you see her on road, slap that batty.
If she tries to get rude, slap that Hattie.
Her and Chan best mates like Cap and Ratty.
You need to sort yourself out, love, you're looking a bit tatty.

You eat man meat, I only eat Quorn.
I've been into grime since before Dizzee was born.
You stay up all night writing swag bars till dawn.
When I dead you, only wastemen will mourn.

I'm Skepta, you're S Club's Bradley.
Any man with a pulse, you'll press him gladly.
You thought you could merk me, but it's all gone badly.
Were your waste bars written by Tony Hadley?

My bars are big like the Eiffel Tower.
Every night Chantelle gives you a golden shower.
I've taken your pride like I took your mum's flower.
Stop writing bars and go shave your chihuahua.

Before Mark Morrison was a dealer / When Margaret was the government leader / A bottle of Coke was 99 pence for a litre

Yeah, Hattie's replied with round 2:

Did I call you Nas?
My bad, I meant Cam'Ron
Cos with those weak-ass bars, you sound like me Nan son,
And when I say son, don't get it undone,
Cos you ain't too big to get a slap on the bum.

Go on then, go on then, draw for your tool,
Oh sorry, you can't cos it's too small,
You clearly need a penis extension,
Cos your dick is too small to even merit a mention.

And as for your blog, you should title it 'log,
Cos it's so shit, it's only good for the bog,
'Prancehall ain't a wasteman?'
Don't make me laugh,
Your writing's so stinky it needs a good bath,
Cuzzie, you're so waste, the bin-men left you,
Just like your mother, when you were 2,
Well, that must be the reason you gotta slew,
Women that obviously are better than you,
Now go back to masturbating, stop being so lame,
I've got to return to running this game.

WASTE. This is too easy...

Pay her 3 bills to get in her mag.
Pay her 1 bill to get in her vag.
How can you post bars that are totally swag?
Your wrinkled up boat looks like an old plastic bag.

31 going on 80.
No one asks you for a datey.
Try jump on this grime thing, you're latey.
It's not Hattie, it's Hatey.

I flow like the river Euphrates.
I'm calm, you're geting in a statey.
I'll whip out my brand new ma-chay-tee
and chop you up like a potatey.

Draw for the ting in the Tesco bag / Make your white T-shirt look like a Japanese flag

So I get home to find Hattie Collins is sending for me:

'"Come on Hattie C, we want war-bars war-bars/ You're a war mc, we want war-bars." Please Prancey, shut ya mouth/ Cos my similes will give you scars/ I've got metaphors that'll make you gasp like you've got SARS/ My punch-lines are gonna hit you so hard you'll be seeing stars/ At the end of the day, kid, I'm Jay Z and you're clearly Nas.'

I ain't having it, as they say.

I slewed Chantelle, now I'll merk Hattie.
Your bars are shit - you're talking out of your batty.
My blog's KRISSS, your blog's tatty.
Your pum pum smells like a salt-fish patty.

I draw for my skeng, you draw your pension.
You keep pissing yourself – got a problem with water retention?
Your zimmerframe's fucked – dodgy suspension?
The steam powered dildo is your favourite invention.

Hattie Collins: up in the air.
The whole of RWD mag: up in the air.
In this game, you've come far.
But when you touch mic, you get A.I.R.

You're gonna need the whole of the RWD office writing bars tomorrow if you're gonna even nearly merk me.

Ten years before Danny Weed made Creeper / When I had about ten holes in my speaker / When Randy Savage put Hulk Hogan in a sleeper

Run The Road 2 is being re-released in the U.S. on the 7th of February on VICE Records. I'm sure you guys know all about it already, so I won't bother saying anything. Here's a picture, though, just so you can recognise it if you see it in Walmart or the Mall or wherever you crazy Americans buy your CDs.



I'm giving away one whole copy of the CD to a very lucky American reader. All you need to do is look at this simple question below and email me your answer along with your name and postal address.

Question: How old is Hattie Collins?

(If you do not want to receive news etc. from Vice Records, then please state this in your email).

If you don't know who she is, google image search her name or something.



I see Chantelle Fiddy has got a competition going on her blog to give away copies of the new Slit Jockey mixtape. I've only been given one copy of this, but I'm not greedy, so anyone who can answer the question below can have my copy of the mixtape.

Question: What is Jammer's Dad's name?

Click here to email me your answer.



Vote for Jammer's 'Murkle Man' video in the MTV Base chart.

Jammer is selectable halfway down the list.

NEW ORLEANS

I'm off to New Orleans in a few weeks. If anyone still actually lives there and wants to link, or knows of some good record shops or somewhere where I can get some nice New Era hats, send me an email please.

Man carry big heavy metal like Guns n Roses / I'll open your chest like it's the Red Sea and my butterfly knife was Moses

You can listen to Plasticman's The Plastician's new Radio 1 show here. Look out for him with Digital Mystikz and Wiley on next weeks' Essential mix.



Dirty Canvas returns on Friday 17th February, 7.30 - 11.30

The night will feature everyone associated with the Essentials camp, with Bossman on decks; exclusive tracks from producers DaVinChe and Young.dot; performances of Essentials' big tunes and freestyles from all the MCs. There will also be an 'open mic' session earlier in the night for aspiring youngers.

POW / PIDDY-POW

First of all, sorry to Luca who rang me to go FWD>> tonight. I had loads of work on at uni and was just cold chillin' upstairs at ULU doing work when I got a call from my nephew Adam that he was downstairs and Lethal B and Fire Camp were performing at the Test Icicles gig. Adam's joined Test Icicles or something and was djing a bit too between bands, although I should've got up and djed too - maybe next time. This whole grindie thing is really taking off maybe. The kids were kinda liking tha bizzle, and I heard a couple of WASTEMEN saying stuff like "that lethal the shizzle dude is totally banging" so yeah...

The sound in the venue was awful, so I couldn't really hear what was happening, but I did hear that Fire Camp drank all 40 cans of beer in the dressing room and tha bizzle was as wasted as a small poodle on crack.

Gotta stay away from the mess and the madness / Gotta stay away from the stress and the badness

D Double E MCing next to a Christmas tree with a bottle of Ribena and some Fruitella.

Listening to the Dizzee set from Sunday, it's clear how much everyone else in the scene has caught up. D Double, Footsie and Esco all sounded just as good. Dizzee will have to improve if Maths and English is going to be better than Wiley's Second Phase.

One more thing: if you're wondering where Durrty Goodz is, read this article.